NSFW Practical Joke - Whats Your Best?

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Whats the best practical joke you have done, seen done or had played on you?

Warning contains a few swearies!


 
Yeah, that's really clever, covering your own kitchen with ketchup. Maybe for an encore he could flood the bathroom or get the drains to back up.

Anyway, one of my personal favourites.

When I was in the 6th form, and in the year between school and university, I had a part time job at the local Tesco store. The managers there were right ******s, so on my last day there I decided to play a practical joke on them.

I went into the gents toilets next to the staff canteen, into one of the cubicles. Removed the cistern lid. Flushed the toilet. Held the ballcock up to prevent the tank filling. Stabbed a hole in the bottom of the ballcock with a screwdriver. Wedged an empty toilet roll tube under the ballcock to keep it in the 'up' position and keep the tank empty. Replaced the lid, making sure to leave it slightly displaced. And then left.

It turned out that my trap was sprung by the butchery manager, which was great because he was the biggest ****** of all of them. He went to the toilet, tried to flush it, but it wouldn't flush. He noticed that the cistern lid was suspiciously ajar and lifted it to investigate. He quickly found the toilet roll tube, so he removed it. The ballcock went down, the tank filled up, he flushed the toilet and left. I'm certain that he would have been feeling quite pleased with himself that he'd caught on to one of the pathetic Saturday boys' little jokes so easily.

Little did he know.

Of course, once the ballcock went down it filled up with water so it stayed down. The cistern filled, and then it overflowed. Nobody discovered it until the water was flowing out of the gents, across the canteen, across the landing, and down the lift shaft into the warehouse.

I had to pop in a week later to pick up my last pay packet. The manager took me into his office and asked if I knew anything about the flooding that had occurred the previous Saturday evening. What flooding? So he told me. I really don't know to this day how I managed to keep a straight face.
 
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Yeah, that's really clever, covering your own kitchen with ketchup. Maybe for an encore he could flood the bathroom or get the drains to back up.

Anyway, one of my personal favourites.

When I was in the 6th form, and in the year between school and university, I had a part time job at the local Tesco store. The managers there were right ******s, so on my last day there I decided to play a practical joke on them.

I went into the gents toilets next to the staff canteen, into one of the cubicles. Removed the cistern lid. Flushed the toilet. Held the ballcock up to prevent the tank filling. Stabbed a hole in the bottom of the ballcock with a screwdriver. Wedged an empty toilet roll tube under the ballcock to keep it in the 'up' position and keep the tank empty. Replaced the lid, making sure to leave it slightly displaced. And then left.

It turned out that my trap was sprung by the butchery manager, which was great because he was the biggest ****** of all of them. He went to the toilet, tried to flush it, but it wouldn't flush. He noticed that the cistern lid was suspiciously ajar and lifted it to investigate. He quickly found the toilet roll tube, so he removed it. The ballcock went down, the tank filled up, he flushed the toilet and left. I'm certain that he would have been feeling quite pleased with himself that he'd caught on to one of the pathetic Saturday boys' little jokes so easily.

Little did he know.

Of course, once the ballcock went down it filled up with water so it stayed down. The cistern filled, and then it overflowed. Nobody discovered it until the water was flowing out of the gents, across the canteen, across the landing, and down the lift shaft into the warehouse.

I had to pop in a week later to pick up my last pay packet. The manager took me into his office and asked if I knew anything about the flooding that had occurred the previous Saturday evening. What flooding? So he told me. I really don't know to this day how I managed to keep a straight face.

More to the point, congrats on avoiding charges for criminal damage :LOL:
 
when i was a taxi driver we worked from a very old building so old in fact it was listed ,the staff toilet was a converted cupboard under the stairs with no windows etc and just a single light bulb .

every evening we tended to have a quite patch for work usually between 8.30 to 10p.m when we took it in turns to go and get a evening meal from one of the local takeaways ,one driver in particular was a very obnoxious character who insisted of getting a kebab every night and lacing it with garlic mayo,chilli sauce and anything else he could get then sit there and slurp it all down with a milky coffee .usually followed a few minutes later by a usually loud and often smelly fart which could clear our office ,we stood it for a couple of months then the plot was hatched ,on the saturday night when we are usually busy and its grab your food and eat it quick the office girl tended to speed things up by making the drinks ,john the farters coffee that night was laced with 22 ex-lax a full packet at the time and carefully stirred in . (go back to top line)
the light bulb in the previously mentioned toilet was removed as was the toilet paper .about 1.30 a.m the call came in on the radio to the operator that he needed the toilet ,she repeated over the radio for all of us to hear "did you say you needed the toilet jon" where upon we all headed back to the office the customers could wait a few minutes ..there were 8 of us sat in the office when he rushed in and made a dive for the loo .
the noises were similar to a dying elephant but we all left before he came out and stood in the road outside screaming with laughter .he never ever had a kebab again claiming it was food poisoning that did it :naughty::naughty::naughty::naughty:
 
I was once the 'victim' of a practical joke where the joker had placed a fresh herring in my briefcase on the day I was due to leave.
Fortunately I found it before I left the office.

As I thought that he had clearly misplaced it I carefully packed it in a plastic bag sealed in a jiffy bag and sent it to his home address marked "Confidential - to be opened by named recipient ONLY". I then posted it second class knowing that he would be back in the office the following week and unable to open his mail till the following weekend.

As I had left the premises I had no idea whether he enjoyed his gift.
 
I like to keep it simple and switch unattended boiling eggs for raw ones 10 seconds before the timer is due to end. :D
 
Someone being an annoying idiot went hom for the weekend, so we took all his room furniture and remade his whole room, bed, everything on top of the student block flat roof, a couple of stories up.
 
Putting a teacher's car up on bricks so the rear (driven) wheels were JUST off the ground but looked normal. Took him ages to realise that it wasn't his clutch that was FUBAR.
 
I always was a practical joker, even as a kid. Presume I got it from my Dad.


Painted that bitter tasting stuff you used to be able to buy to stop kids biting their finger nails, on peanuts, before offering them to friends.

Making cups of hot chocolate, with Senacot in.

Jamming a raw potato in the exhausts of cars.



As I started work in the building trade, a favourite was to rub some loft insulation around the inside of un attended coat collars or hats.

Pot drinking mugs were also fair game, especially in Winter when everyone was well wrapped up & semi-protected. Hold the mug & gently tap the handle against a table until it snapped off, then apply wood/PVA glue & re-attach. Once dry you can actually carry a brew with it for a while..............until the heat melts the glue!

A guy I used to work with just HAD to get away from work before everyone else & in Winter would sneak away from working to start his car an hour before finishing & de-ice the windscreen etc.
One particularly freezing cold afternoon, I waited for half an hour after he'd got his car ready for the quick getaway & got my car ready, but also went out with a container of water & wet his windscreen. I did the same again 10 mins before finishing work.
As we all left work in the dark, this guy ran past us smiling as usual, started his car & set off. As he pulled out of the yard onto the duel carriageway he put the wipers across & couldn't see a thing & had to put the hazards on & pull into the side. We all honked the horn & waved as we drove past him.

Far too many to recount tbh.
 
Just remembered another re work, for the wagon drivers.
Take the plastic ink-straw out of a Biro pen & remove the end/ball. Blow hard down the straw until you get a good blob of the thick ink. Place the blob of ink on top of the gear lever.
Oh what fun :LOL:
 
Best one I did with some mates was careful manipulation of our schools bulletin system, by placing instructions with the initials from head of years for entire year groups to congregate in the library for various things all the same time.

Basically ended up with nearly 1000 students trying to cram into a library that was cosy with about 60 people in it! Complete chaos ensued....

Oh course we were found out in the end but the head of 6th form ended up buying us a pint at the end of year prom for what she called the best prank ever at the school :)
 
Used to have the usual IT-related fun, like taking a screen-grab of a desktop on someone's computer, then dropping all the icons in the recycle bin. Swapping mice or keyboards with the person sat opposite could be mildly entertaining too.

I seem to have a bad memory these days - done loads of things, but can't remember more than this.
 
The best one I can remember was a 'friend' of mine had a flash car bought for his birthday by mummy and daddy and all he did was brag about it and the fantastic stereo system that was in it.

One night when he was flat out, we got hold of some old glass from a broken car window, wound his driver side window all the way down and sprinkled all the glass around and in the car. We also removed his stereo and put it in the boot.

He went to go to work the following morning and all we heard was profanity and close to crying sounds from outside. He phoned the police and autoglass who arrived at the same time.

The face of the Autoglass man when he started at the window for a few minutes, asked for the keys and then proceeded to turn the ignition on and wound the window back up...Luckily the police saw the funny side and joined in on the prank by telling my mate that they were thinking about doing him for wasting police time. Once my mate calmed down (several hours later), he stopped bragging about the car.
 
some of these are hilarious :LOL:

one i pulled was back at school (only a few years back, approx 2009), back when windows XP was the bee's knees. I wrote a simple batch script to run the shutdown command with a 10 minute timer, and another one disguised as autorun.inf (or something like that) on a usb drive, which would copy the aforementioned shutdown thing into the user's startup folder when the usb was inserted and autorun was ran automatically and straight away. plugged the usb into one of my friend's laptop and chaos ensured :ROFLMAO:

the funniest part is that he continued to use the laptop whilst timing himself for the 10 minutes shutdown every time, and making do by turning the computer back on every time, instead of looking to get rid of it :rolleyes:eventually we felt bad for him and because he couldnt really do his work, we deleted it from his startup folder

another variant was to open a webpage of a famous song by Rick Astley, also copied itself into the startup folder for good measure, and i think we had an offline version too but that takes a little while to copy over :ROFLMAO:

dam you microsoft for patching this :mad: :p
 
some of these are hilarious :LOL:

one i pulled was back at school (only a few years back, approx 2009), back when windows XP was the bee's knees. I wrote a simple batch script to run the shutdown command with a 10 minute timer, and another one disguised as autorun.inf (or something like that) on a usb drive, which would copy the aforementioned shutdown thing into the user's startup folder when the usb was inserted and autorun was ran automatically and straight away. plugged the usb into one of my friend's laptop and chaos ensured :ROFLMAO:

the funniest part is that he continued to use the laptop whilst timing himself for the 10 minutes shutdown every time, and making do by turning the computer back on every time, instead of looking to get rid of it :rolleyes:eventually we felt bad for him and because he couldnt really do his work, we deleted it from his startup folder

another variant was to open a webpage of a famous song by Rick Astley, also copied itself into the startup folder for good measure, and i think we had an offline version too but that takes a little while to copy over :ROFLMAO:

dam you microsoft for patching this :mad: :p

We were doing that in school all the time! We also managed to get hold of a trojan that allowed us to mess with the teacher's computer from our workstations. We also installed it in remote classrooms and would wind up the first formers no end.
 
I worked with a really obnoxious guy that ran a classic car as everyday transport. It had always had a minor leak from the gearbox, so eventually he stripped it all down, repaired it and made it leak free. He was immensely pleased with himself and kept bragging about what a great mechanic he was too.

After a couple of weeks we used to take it in turns to crawl under the car and dribble a small amount of oil on the ground under his car. He spent months trying to figure out where the leak was coming from before he twigged what was going on.
 
Had a couple of good ones from the school days.

Our Computing teacher infact, was in on this and set it up for us. Anytime a younger student (year 7/8) would leave a machine looked on (which often happened), we kept a USB handy that had a folder called (Saucy pics) on, dragged that into their home folder and waited for them to be called up for having illicit pictures on their user. Watching their horrified faces as they were getting a bollocking, only for them to open the folder and realise that folder was full of pictures of Ketchup and HP sauce bottles! Wasn't anything nasty, but always made us laugh.

We painted the first time cricket pavilion Pink once too... That was fun. The entire building left pink, they repainted, but left all the railing pink as homage to our hard work :)
 
Filling the air vents on a car with the contents of a hole punch used to be a favourite when i worked in the motor trade

all the demo cars had spare keys in the admin office so it was pretty easy to 'break in' to a colleagues car, fill them up and then put the blowers on full.

Ignition on, face full of paper!
 
Can't claim credit for this one but it was superb.

Back in the early 90s a bunch of us used to frequent a local nightclub and would always be looking for a taxi home at 3:00am or thereabouts.

The taxi cabs used to line up outside the club waiting for business and the done thing was always to go to the first taxi in line.

There was one particular taxi driver who my friend didn't like for reasons that don't really matter.

He would go to the first taxi in the row and say he had no taxi fare but would offer the driver a man to man blow job for a lift home. Driver would tell him where to go. He'd go to the second cab and say the same and again he'd he be told to sling his hook. He'd eventually go to the taxi being driven by the driver he didn't like and simply take a normal lift home for normal fare.

He did it week after week and that poor taxi driver got a lot of stick from his fellow taxi drivers.
 
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Some of these are classics!

I love a practical joke and have played many over the years.

When I was at college one of my mates could't lock his car so I made up a 'For sale, £200 for quick sale' sign and put it in his window with his phone number on it.

When I worked in a call centre on of my mates was the facilities manager and he regularly sent emails out to everyone that worked in the building. He left his pc logged on one day and I set his outlook options to request a delivered receipt and a read receipt. The next email he sent his inbox went mental.

When I was in the BB's we made it to the finals of the national 5-a-side football competition. The finals were in Northern Ireland and we were staying in quite a fancy hotel. The wake up call service was automated so I set it up for 3am in one of the other rooms. They really couldn't understand why the phone was ringing at 3am.

Another of our trips away with the BB's involved us staying in a hostel type place. We were staying in dorm rooms with bunk beds and I noticed that the mattress for the top bunk was lying on top of a bit of wood, this wood in turn was resting on lugs that stuck out from the bed frame. We managed to remove the wood from one of the beds and just balance the mattress on the lugs then convinced whoever's bed it was that they couldn't jump straight up from the ground. Well he tried it and then fell straight through! He was actually quite lucky not to injure himself on the bed frame.
 
I loved practical jokes as a teenager and was always looking for ways to raise a laugh.

My dad owned a number of greengrocer shops and they would have a quantity of fresh produce displayed at the front of the shop, on the pavement. I would stand around waiting for a suitable 'victim' to come along. When I was sure they could see me I would grab a cauliflower and run away with it - around the corner and into the rear of the shop to hopefully meet them as they came in to report the 'theft' (we had to make our own entertainment in those days!).

By far the best practical joke I played though was when I was helping the village drama society. I was about seventeen at the time and had the job of 'sound technician' in a comedy 'revue' of sketches the village dramatic society were putting on as their finale of the season. The director had been a real pain throughout rehearsals and all the cast disliked his dictatorial style of directing so I decided to play a trick on him on the final, most important night of the production.

My job involved using a reel to reel tape recorder and basically pressing 'play' at the right time. During the interval I had to change reel 1 to reel 2 containing the sound effects for the second half of the revue. I remembered we had an old, unwanted reel of tape at home and had taken it in with me that evening and I'd told my friends father, a leading cast member, what I was doing. He thought it was a great idea and told all the rest of the cast (most of the village) what was going to happen. In the interval I hid 'reel 2' and proceeded to unspool my reel from home. The scene was carnage, tape was everywhere, a huge pile on the tape machine and all over the place. I went to find the director to tell him that, due to my incompetence I had accidentally ruined the tape, but would try to 'wind it back' on to the spool, an obviously hopeless task. The director listened to me telling him all this, tape was everywhere, the second half couldn't go ahead and all of the 'great and good' (ie the cast) of the village were watching. I didn't know how the director would react at all, I'm a callow 17 year old, he's a middle aged man. He seemed stunned at first then became quite aggressive, grabbing me by the throat and saying "That's the last bloody time Heathfield..." At this point I had to declare it was actually a joke and produced 'reel 2'. His demeanour immediately changed and he knew he'd been well and truly 'had' in front of twenty or so of his neighbours, the joke had worked brilliantly well and much better than I could ever have hoped.

I saw him about five years after that and knew that he'd never forgotten the joke played on him before although it wasn't mentioned. It was about thirty five years ago and I still remember it like it happened yesterday.
 
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