shooting a parent's wedding?

Messages
153
Name
Andrew
Edit My Images
Yes
has anyone done this?

My father is remarrying and they have asked me to do the photography, I didn't really want to say no. It's a relatively low key event, church wedding 1/2 mile from home in rural somerset and then marquee in the garden, not too many guests, around 50 I'd think. I don't have a problem with being busy with this on the day over concerns of not enjoying the day because I'll be 'working' as such.

I'm happy to do it for him, but shooting people is not normally my thing (normally motorsport) so I have a couple of questions around kit and technique.

I'll get a second body for the day (I shoot a 40d) and I think my most suitable lenses are an 18-135 f3.5-5.6 and 50mm f1.8. I also have a 70-200 F4L but think this will be too zoomy on a cropped sensor and 10-20 siggy which I can't think of or have seen too many wedding compositions where it'd be useful. I don't want to be spending time swapping lenses around on the day.
I was thinking of hiring the well respected canon 17-55 f2.8 to have more of a wider range in low light, is this a good/the best option or should I be considering something else?

The bride doesn't seem to like having her photo taken so I guess I'll be more low key background shooting to try and capture moments than ordering people and groups into set poses, but I need to confirm exactly what they expect. I think they just don't want a huge fuss but would like some photos of the day and thought it'd be nice for me to do it. I've told them they might not be professional quality but they didn't seem too worried, just happy that I'd do it.

I don't own and have never used an external flash and gather most churches don't like them used for the ceremony and the reception in the garden marquee will be mostly outdoors and should be pretty light so is using natural light and large apertures a realistic option?

Having never seriously shot groups of people other than snapshots, from couples upwards in terms of numbers, what sort of f values should I be using to get suitable depth of field?

I'm guessing most shots (depending of course on composition and background) using lower f value to isolate and focus more on the happy couple is the way to go.

I've checked out the church and will be back before the ceremony to check out some shots etc but one thing that I noticed is that the church is quite tightly surrounded by relatively unattractive farm buildings so getting good shots outside the church might prove tricky, any ideas around this?

I guess to summarise my questions are:
1. which lens(es) to use
2. best way to shoot low light with kit I've got (I know I could hire a flash but unlikely to be confident shooting with it in time) might use the onboard as some under compensated fill-in, dare I go higher than iso800 on a 40d?
3. f values for shooting couple and groups
4. shooting outside church with poor backgrounds/surroundings (2 sides ugly farm buildings/barns, one side open fence to lane, other side fields but opposite direction to entrance so would never be in the background)

Any other constructive comments and suggestions welcome, thanks!

Andrew.
 
Last edited:
Andrew
Hi first of all. I am in exactly the same position as yourself, in that I have been asked by my brother in law, to do the photography at their wedding.

The venue is very low lit inside so flash photography all the way.

I am a Nikon man but have come from Canon so I know a little. A wedding photographer I know always uses the 24-70 and 70-200 but that's on a full frame 5D Mk2 so he doesn't have to worry about the cropping factor.
Still, the main benefit of hiring the 24-70 lens out, for the day, is that it is a seriously sharp lens. You may have crop factor but you will be getting pin sharp pics that ooze quality.

I have an 11-16mm Wide angle lens which I will use for the group shots, so I get them all in but can still crop if needed.
I also have the 17-50mm which will be for the closer stuff.
Will also hire out the Nikon 24-70 too.
The huge benefit I have is the Nikon SB900 flash gun unit I have just bought. The beauty of this flash gun is that it is full TTL and can read your cameras settings and alter the flash to allow for what you need. Full auto mode gives you superb results. The flash basically thinks for you. It's new really and I have no idea which Canon model of flash equals this. Maybe someone else can help on that. All I do know is that the flash is what will make or break the photos for you. This is my personal opinion. You WILL need a decent flash gun if you want to get the light right and combat the shadows issue.

As for f numbers, well I love 2.8 for everything people based. If you are doing 1 or 2 people close up, or a close up of say hands together etc, do the lowest f number you can to create lovely bokeh around the subject. This will create impact and make the main subject you're photographing really stand out.

For group shots I will probably go no higher than f8 but that it my personal preference. Depends on the day really and I will use the DOF button on the camera if I feel I may lose some detail somewhere on the edges.

The venue, where I will be, is surrounded by housing estates, so it isn't the best either. On this you have to be as creative as possible, maybe get the subjects to fill more of the frame. Maybe f2.8 to blur out the background more and create an artier shot.
Maybe take the subjects at an angle to incorporate the building more and take the focus off the surroundings. Are there any trees you can use to good effect?

The main thing I will be giving my thoughts to, is ensuring my focal points are spot on. I tend to use single point of focus for portrait stuff, so will have to be on guard to ensure it's changed for the types of shots I am going to take.
I may end up switching it in to dynamic mode, if it becomes a pain.

Most importantly, relax and think about your shots before you take them. Most wedding photographers never get what we are getting.....Family who understand and are willing to take a little more time with you, to get the right shot.
 
Last edited:
My opinion? Don't do it, and hire a pro. It's your dad's day. Be a son. Not a hired photographer. Without meaning to sound harsh, the results will not be what they expect. There's a lot to think about at a wedding, and if you have to ask about kit, setting, etc, you aren't ready for it.

I suggest you hire some gear, as your lenses will just not be even close to getting the job done. Get f2.8 range as well as a few 1.4 (or in Canon's case, f1.2) primes. Definitely get 70-200mm f2.8 IS and 24-70mm f2.8. What is your ISO performance like? You WILL need 1600 at the very least. I often use 3200, or at a push 6400 on my D3.

Ceremony

Camera in ISO 1600-6400, whatever is required for the venue. Keep shutter speed nice and fast (above 1/200th)

Do - Be discreet. Get down low when walking around. Capture details. Know the moments before they happen, i.e. learn the proceedings beforehand, so you can position yourself early. Shoot details. Shoot reaction shots. Make a shot list. Scout the location for available light/composition.

Don't - Use flash. Run around. Get in guests' or the wedding party's faces. Go onto the alter (don't laugh. I've seen it happen!) Spray and pray. No flash (Yes, I know I said it before, but really, DON'T).

Outdoor Group shots - find good open shade. Use fill in flash where needed. Position them, and pay attention to height difference, face positioning and casting shadows. Be funny and make people smile. AND WORK FAST.

Cake cut/first dance - be creative. Use back light, silhouettes, flare it up, drag shutter, lots to be done. Wide angles can work well, as well as close up detail shots.

Indoor reception - use fill in flash, but try to bring the ambient level as high as possible. When shooting more than a single person, make sure they are all in focus, by closing aperture according to DOF required. Get reaction shots. Get in with the crowd, and get action shots, as much as possible. I use 24-70mm for most of the reception/party scene, as you need close focus, and act quickly.

Spare body, spare lenses, spare batteries, spare cards, spare everything. Think "if you don't have 2, you don't have any!"

I hope I've put you off enough, but if you are still going to do it, then best of luck :)
 
Firstly, I am in the lucky position that my brother in law and Mrs aren't fussed about getting top pro shots. They know that they are not employing someone who does it for a living. They have both seen my portrait stuff and love it, so as long as I stick to the same mentality I should be fine.
Can I ask what your preferred focal setting is, for weddings in general. I have nikon, so would you use single point of focus or auto dynamic etc etc.
 
....................
Can I ask what your preferred focal setting is, for weddings in general. I have nikon, so would you use single point of focus or auto dynamic etc etc.

sorry .. but if you're asking this ^^^ you're not ready

been said so often by so many Pros here................

''dont stand in for Family weddings'' - it's ONE day in their life - unrepeatable
 
My opinion? Don't do it, and hire a pro. It's your dad's day. Be a son. Not a hired photographer.......................I hope I've put you off enough, but if you are still going to do it, then best of luck :)

ditto...................:D
 
John,
I appreciate your strong views on this, and have to say I agree but, as I said above, My brother in law and his fiance have asked me to do this knowing that it won't be pro. For the evening they are having disposables put on every table and have said that will do for that.
When it comes to taking photos with the flash at parties, get togethers etc etc, I am fine and have few issues, so I am confident I can give them exactly what they expect to get.
When I did a recky on the place, they were there and I took a number of shots of them in the places they wished to be photographed. I personally could see a multitude of issues with every photo (Light mainly) and I pointed these out and they both said "what's wrong with them? They are fine for what we want"
So my position is a bit different to most.

My question about focal point wasn't find out how you do it at all but just curious about what you prefer to use. Some say auto all day, some have said auto when it's groups and single point when you are dealing with just the couple. It was really to ask what other peoples preferences are.

Finally, we all have to start somewhere. I think this is a great chance for me to show what I can do and to experience the thrill and pressure of doing a wedding. I'm lucky to be doing it for two people who just want snapshots basically.
Just saying Don't Do It and You're not Ready, doesn't help people to gain the confidence to break out in to it.
Even the pros had a 1st wedding, where they weren't aware of the pressure, speed and spontaneity of it all.
 
A lot of people's advice on here would be fine if you were shooting for a couple paying over a grand for photos of the most important day of their lives to date, but the fact of the matter is you're not. I don't see a problem with this other than perhaps the fact that you should be relaxing and enjoying the day with your Dad rather than working.

Without wishing to appear blase about the matter, you've already mentioned it's low key affair and his bride isn't overly keen about being in front of a camera, so as you've already said, getting a stunning set of wedding shots is probably the last thing on their minds which is exactly why they've not hired a professional. You've been given a wonderful opportunity to gain some invaluable experience without the pressure of screwing up someone's once-in-a-lifetime moment (afterall, it is your Dad's second marriage ;)).

If you don't know it now and you haven't got time to learn about it, don't get too hung up on the technical side of the camera. Getting a well composed interesting photo is more important to your Dad and his future wife than whether you're shooting in fully manual, aperture priority mode or program mode.

Be on the look-out for opportunities to tell the story of their day in a photo and most importantly enjoy yourself.
 
Alan,
Thank you so much for that. It's made me feel better about it.
To be honest, I was fine about it, until I read peoples replies on this thread and then it scared the hell out of me. I instantly text the bride to tell her my fears and her actual words were "Shut up you idiot. If we wanted pro, we'd have paid for pro. I have seen your photography and I love it. If you can produce that, you can get some good shots on my day. No pressure Darren, besides we're not paying you, so I won't expect miracles, just do your best. A photo is a photo to us and we don't see all the errors you see :)"
That made me feel so much better and I now intend to go and enjoy myself.
Like you say Alan, it's an amazing opportunity to gain experience and I am a firm believer that sometimes it's best to dive in at the deep end. :)
 
Alan,
Thank you so much for that. It's made me feel better about it.
To be honest, I was fine about it, until I read peoples replies on this thread and then it scared the hell out of me. I instantly text the bride to tell her my fears and her actual words were "Shut up you idiot. If we wanted pro, we'd have paid for pro. I have seen your photography and I love it. If you can produce that, you can get some good shots on my day. No pressure Darren, besides we're not paying you, so I won't expect miracles, just do your best. A photo is a photo to us and we don't see all the errors you see :)"
That made me feel so much better and I now intend to go and enjoy myself.
Like you say Alan, it's an amazing opportunity to gain experience and I am a firm believer that sometimes it's best to dive in at the deep end. :)
You sound like you're in the same situation as me (asked to do a friend's wedding in Oct) and that is exactly their attitude. They know they're not getting a pro and they know its not costing them much (hire of a lens, cost of prints/photobook). They want me to enjoy the day (!) and not feel too pressured (but of course I will!) and are really calm and laid back about it.

The same as with Andrew in the OP - the B&G know we're not wedding pros but they prefer a friend or family member to come and take some shots as part of the wedding, instead of bringing someone else in. If we said no they'd probably ask another friend with a DSLR and we'd be at the wedding as a guest thinking 'I should have just gone for it'.
 
I have done a wedding for a friend and in all honesty, I would say skip it and enjoy the day for what it is. I missed so much of the wedding, because I was chasing the groom, the bride, everyone else.......

If high quality (top pro) shots are not the order of the day, find someone that is just getting started, with a small portfolio.

Which ever way you go, enjoy it.
 
Back
Top