Should children have 'best friends'?

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A head teacher of a leading primary school has said young children should not have best friends because it could leave others feeling ostracised and hurt.
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SOURCE


What do you think ... common sense or more pc rubbish?

Yours, Billy No Mates :D
 
Of course.

You need to get this 'best friends' thing over and done with as a kid, so as to highlight the fact of what an inconvenience/ball and chain they could potentially become in later life.
 
Complete and utter borax in my humble opinion.

Best mates are needed to help you through the good times and the bad.

It's about time those that are employed to teach started doing just that, instead of wasting taxpayers money on their own daydreams.

Sadly these idiots reflect on those who still see teaching as a vocation.
 
i heard this, this morning and thought how stupid.... of course they should have best friends It is all PC madness..
 
Well I'm engaged to my best female friend from school and have never been happier we were friends for 16 years and we have been together 7 years now...

And my best male friend who ive known for 18 years now I still see most weekends and we are all going on holiday soon and he will be my best man when we get married!

So there must be something good about having best friends :)
 
It's all very difficult, my daughter would prefer to have a larger group of good friends than a best friend, she finds being with one best friend all the time very Challenging, which causes is own problems, the clip side is when you get a larger group of friends and there is a disagreement this then causes is own problems. I think different people need different things from friendships. It should be left to individuals to sort out what thru need from friendships.
 
Ridiculous. Friendships are an important part of life and it's pretty inevitable that one person will become particularly close to another. I can't see any possible benefit to not having a best friend.

My friends mean everything to me though, so perhaps I'm a little biased.
 
Loada PC, hippy nonsense. If my daughters head teacher came out with this crap he's know that my best friends are my DM's:D:D
 
People who come up with this sort of rubbish shouldn't be employed in teaching.

Children need friends, some need a few, some need a lot, some just need a best friend so they have a mate(s) to help them through school life.

If you don't have a best mate how can you say "Dave's mam lets him do it/go" ? :D
 
It's not beyond the wit of many children to tell several of their friends they are their true best friends! Falling out with friends is part of growing up.

Sounds like this head didn't have any best friends or got dropped as one and is still sore about it ;)
 
My best friend and I met when we were both seven we are forty six now and still the best of mates.
 
Staggering!

Apart from the fact that friendships develop naturally and are not subject to whatever a teacher can say, do or think.

If I were a governor at that school, one head teacher would be looking for a new position.
 
I don't have kids but if I did and the head of their school said this I'd probably be seriously considering moving them elsewhere. I've honestly never heard such an utter stack of rubbish.

I'd even question how suitable someone saying such rubbish is to teach. Having best friends, being hurt, disappointed, having someone there for you in bad times, sharing experiences, etc is a huge part of how we develop as human beings and taking that away just seems like complete utter madness. :bang:
 
Nobody can tell you who you can be friends with. Not teachers nor parents. You chose your own friends and it is up to you as to what kind of friendship you want it to be.

If you want a wider group of friends, then by all means, go and make as many friends as you wish.

If you want a smaller group of closer friends, then by all means.

If you want just a best friend of two, then by all means.

If you feel uncomfy being with too many people and you're more of a lone-wolf, then by all means.

You develop a friendship with someone depending on how well you click with them, not at the orders of the head teacher.
 
Davec223 said:
It's all very difficult, my daughter would prefer to have a larger group of good friends than a best friend, she finds being with one best friend all the time very Challenging, which causes is own problems, the clip side is when you get a larger group of friends and there is a disagreement this then causes is own problems. I think different people need different things from friendships. It should be left to individuals to sort out what thru need from friendships.
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I agree with you.

If your daughter prefers larger group of friends and finds being best friends with one person bit harder, that is her choice. There are some people like her around, they are enlist to chose as many friends as they wish. That's good.

Having a larger group of friends can have its good points.

However for some people like myself, I find having too many friends to be a problem, I don't have time for everyone, I can't cope trying to be there for most of them, I can't balance my time between my needs and all of my friends. I prefer to have just a couple of best friends, and that's it. I have more time to spare and I'm always there for them.

Having a smaller group of friends or just one or two best friends can have its good points.

Everybody is different, they have their own ways of coping, so it makes no different if you have to have a larger group of friends and no best friend or if you have a smaller group of closer friends or if you have just one best friend.

Either way, let them chose their own friends, let them chose their own number of friends, and let them chose their own level and type of friendship. Let them cope in their own ways. Your daughter copes with larger friends, I cope with just two best friends, everyone copes in their own ways.

A teacher can't order you to cope in a way the teacher expects.
 
Load of old rubbish. Why can't we just leave kids to work it out for themselves, like most of us did?
 
Just more rubbish spouted from people who should know better in my opinion.

Of course kids need friends!
 
PMK said:
I'm not sure why some people on here think this is anything to do with Political Correctness...
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A head teacher of a leading primary school has said young children should not have best friends because it could leave others feeling ostracised and hurt.
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Bit like the suggestion that no one can come last in a race or an exam - 'PC' because it removes the reality of life and replaces it with a set of guidelines to cover everyone's feelings ... only it doesn't, it creates people who are unprepared for life and who become a drain on the emotional resources of the rest of society.
 
Let me start by saying i don't agree with the notion that kids shouldn't have one best friend. Its not up to anyone to tell them they have to be friends with lots of people, or none at all.

But i was one of those kids :( I preferred to hang out in a large group, and was happiest when we were all together. But inevitably within the group there were closer friendships, lots of sets of best friends. Only there was an odd number, and i was usually the child left out :( I know, get the violins out ;) I do think though that that has affected my ability to make friends in later life. I just cba these days if i'm honest, there is always that little girl still in my head reminding me of being lonely and feeling left out. What makes me more sad is that i can see my 5 year old daughter is alot like me, and i worry about her :(

So i get where this Head is coming from, but i don't feel it would be right to do anything about it iygwim. Its not a teacher's place to choose someone's friends, and trying to tell a child to play with people they just don't want to play with is asking for trouble.
 
The full quote:-

Ben Thomas, the school’s headmaster, said there was no official policy to that effect but he supported the idea.
He said: “There is sound judgment behind it. You can get very possessive friendships, and it is much easier if they share friendships and have a wide range of good friends rather than obsessing too much about who their best friend is.
“I would certainly endorse a policy which says we should have lots of good friends, not a best friend.
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“I would be happy to make it school policy, although it would need to be age-appropriate.
“By the time they are 11, 12 or 13 they are making up their own minds. But when they are aged between four and ten, it would be helpful for parents, teachers and children.”
Mr Thomas said young girls in particular were prone to forming close-knit friendship “triangles” that often ended with one member of the group feeling excluded and upset.
He added: “I think children would be more balanced in their friendships if they all grew up knowing they all need to be friends with each other.
“These obsessive friendships can be very hurtful for those who are left out of them, and ostracising is as painful as physical bullying.
“These very obsessive friendships do need intervention and careful management by adults.”
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Rapscallion said:
The full quote:-
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And that is very sensible,we as a family are suffering from exactly what he has said, with or eldest daughter, it is very soul destroying to see one you love suffering from this. I will not say how bad it has got, but it is every parents worst nightmare.
 
"Obsessive friendships" are of course abnormal ... deal with it, don't expect society to change instead!
 
gramps said:
"Obsessive friendships" are of course abnormal ... deal with it, don't expect society to change instead!
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The trouble is obsessive friendships are far more normal than you expect. I am not expecting society to change but understanding is required and what the head teacher has said is very understanding of children's friendships today. If I could stop one other child going through what my daughter has it is worth it.
 
gramps said:
"Obsessive friendships" are of course abnormal ... deal with it, don't expect society to change instead!
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I think that is exactly what the headteacher is doing!

;-)
 
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