Au contraire, I think yours and lawrie29's are the best ones yet. Both good street shots of a situation as it is and not interfered with.
I just can't get my head around the fact that some people think it's better to jump in front of folk in order to provoke a response, which only ever achieves a somewhat manufactured end result. In my opinion those kind of shots have no real emotional value. I can spend a while looking at the likes of yours and lawrie29's images simply contemplating what's on heir minds or what the story around the shot is. Unfortunately, the manfactured reactions captured by some peoples' ideas of street photography say just one thing: person gets snapped by a photographer while thinking "what you pointing that at me for".... not much to stir the imigination.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when I've enjoyed looking at street shots when the person has been aware that they are being photographed, but there is usually a bigger picture involved. It's the "look at me I'm using a shorter lens than you" briggade that have me scratching my head
Of course, with the title of the thread being "street portrait" my thoughts might not be relevant as I'm not 100% sure what the brief of the competition is but just thought I'd give you a bit of insight as to why I like your shot