I don't think the editing is too bad but I think you're 20 seconds too long with the type of footage you have. There's a lot of reveals and audience 'wows' but we don't get to see the first part of the trick.
Take the same approach to your video as you would approach a trick. You don't just blurt it all out straight away you present some intrigue and a bit of suspense, then build on it before the big surprise ending.
So maybe think about starting the video with some quick cuts of close up shots of the audience members the moment the trick is revealed, you know, the laughing and smiling and head scratching bit when they look at each other in disbelief - this will will get me thinking, 'what's going on, what are these people reacting to, I want to know more, show me more' - no music here, just the sounds of the reactions.
Then cut to some time ramped shots (hit the music at this point) to establish the locations and the wedding environment - this is going to let me know that you're not telling me a story about you being a stage or street magician, you're letting me know that this video and story takes place at weddings/parties etc. (A couple of drone shots would be amazing here - get a friend to help with this one, there's plenty of people I think that would be willing to help take some shots to help you and probably them as well!)
Then get back to the magic, some close up shots of your hands performing the trick, maybe try cutting between locations as well to add depth to your story. Don't focus to long on and single shot, be in and out in a few seconds to keep the pace going. Cut to some 'crowd shots' where people are swan necking the performance and really giving it some to check out what you're doing - this is going to make me feel like one of the audience members, I want to see what's going on too, what's he doing, let me see.
Then 'bang' the reveal, cut straight to reactions, next location 'bang' reveal straight to reactions and repeat for maybe four times - maybe think about how your choice of music might crescendo to this point. Keep it light but you need to lift it up at this point to really drive home the point of the story. If you make sure you get some really nice close up shots of people's reactions, then that's what we're looking for to help us read the situation. We're programmed to respond to that detail from other people.
When you're ready to leave the story you can take longer shots of the audience still buzzing between themselves. Slightly fade to white or defocus and lighten the music so you you can then bring up your name and title page with contact details etc. To finish, and to add a little humour and maybe a bit of tongue in cheek, do a nice close up of your face with a wicked smile, throw a load of confetti into the air and with the magic of video editing, disappear leaving the confetti falling. We all know that you didn't really disappear but it'll leave a nice lasting impression of you, the magician.
Just a thought off the top of my head......
