What's the biggest white lie you've told?

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Colin
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Confession time! :D

When the my boys heard the ice cream van playing it's tune I used to tell them that the music meant he had run out of ice cream and was going to get some more.

I got away with it for about four years.

:LOL:
 
I love you,
The cheque is in the post,
I won't......er....lets leave that one.
 
I wondered how long it would take to reach the gutter. :LOL:
 
Hacker said:
I wondered how long it would take to reach the gutter. :LOL:
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3 replies. Is that some sort of record? :D

For the record, I tell the ice cream lie too :D
The best one I read on a website was someone telling a kid that sometimes the tooth fairy gets drunk and takes an eye by mistake.

Kids are great for lying to :D
 
When she was a little girl my Mum asked my Grandad what to do when it was time for her Tortoise to hibernate.

He replied "put it in a box with straw and bury it in the back garden"


she did



when she dug it up in the spring.........
 
OK, are you sitting comfortably - then I'll begin....
I left home at 15, didn't get on with my father, and wanted to be more of a hippy (this was in 1973..) A few weeks later......
My parents wanted to send me on an outward bound expedition - to make a man out of me !
Fat chance !! I already had my ticket to one of the first Knebworth festivals, and the Allman brother band were playing - my favourite band - the boys I had scived off school and camped outside what was the Rainbow Theatre for 3 days to get tickets to see, dressed in my school uniform !)
So, I took a mate (who went on to become one of the Red Dwarf stars, along to the local hospital, to get my leg put in plaster (Nurse, I am in a play at the local theatre, and need a cast please..) She refused, so we went to the chemist, bought what we needed, and went to some squat. An hour later, I had a plaster cast, but with a hinge at the ankle, so I could walk as normal when I needed to.
I rode my moped back to see my parents, to show them the cast and to explain how I was unable to go to the outward bound thing. They seemed to swallow it, so I toddled off on my moped the 15 miles back to Oxford in the freezing cold, and went to work as normalas a chef in a trendy hamburger joint.
I arrived at work, and as soon as the manageress spotted my cast, she told me to sit down, feet up and bring the boy a drink...
Within minutes, the entire staff had gathered round, offering to help, and I ended up with the other chef (a 34 year old fully trained chef - now bear in mind that I was 15 years old and head chef at this place, with a staff of 16 under me, including this other guy who knew what to do - me, I just turned up out of my head and burnt burgers till midnight and flirted with the manageress, who was something else, but that is not for now....) offering to do my shifts, while I sat, on full pay (my Dad was taking £28 per week gross - I was on £80 after deductions) drinking beer and having 6 rather lovely waitresses attending to me.
After 6 weeks of this (yes, I did get to the concert thanks !) I took the plaster off, and if it hadn't been for the Red Dwarf star blurting his mouth off, I would have got away with it.....
Now, is that a white lie...?
 
steveinspain said:
OK, are you sitting comfortably - then I'll begin....
I left home at 15, didn't get on with my father, and wanted to be more of a hippy (this was in 1973..) A few weeks later......
My parents wanted to send me on an outward bound expedition - to make a man out of me !
Fat chance !! I already had my ticket to one of the first Knebworth festivals, and the Allman brother band were playing - my favourite band - the boys I had scived off school and camped outside what was the Rainbow Theatre for 3 days to get tickets to see, dressed in my school uniform !)
So, I took a mate (who went on to become one of the Red Dwarf stars, along to the local hospital, to get my leg put in plaster (Nurse, I am in a play at the local theatre, and need a cast please..) She refused, so we went to the chemist, bought what we needed, and went to some squat. An hour later, I had a plaster cast, but with a hinge at the ankle, so I could walk as normal when I needed to.
I rode my moped back to see my parents, to show them the cast and to explain how I was unable to go to the outward bound thing. They seemed to swallow it, so I toddled off on my moped the 15 miles back to Oxford in the freezing cold, and went to work as normalas a chef in a trendy hamburger joint.
I arrived at work, and as soon as the manageress spotted my cast, she told me to sit down, feet up and bring the boy a drink...
Within minutes, the entire staff had gathered round, offering to help, and I ended up with the other chef (a 34 year old fully trained chef - now bear in mind that I was 15 years old and head chef at this place, with a staff of 16 under me, including this other guy who knew what to do - me, I just turned up out of my head and burnt burgers till midnight and flirted with the manageress, who was something else, but that is not for now....) offering to do my shifts, while I sat, on full pay (my Dad was taking £28 per week gross - I was on £80 after deductions) drinking beer and having 6 rather lovely waitresses attending to me.
After 6 weeks of this (yes, I did get to the concert thanks !) I took the plaster off, and if it hadn't been for the Red Dwarf star blurting his mouth off, I would have got away with it.....
Now, is that a white lie...?
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erm...........

This threat is ****in comedy!!! :LOL:
 
pmsl @ SteveinSpain :LOL: :LOL: :clap:

But you know we're all curious now.... which Red Dwarf star???
 
I once told someone I worked very hard.


looking back now, I can honestly say that's a load of bull manure :D
 
minimeeze said:
pmsl @ SteveinSpain :LOL: :LOL: :clap:

But you know we're all curious now.... which Red Dwarf star???
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Well, I shouldn't name names, but he now has a show about 2 teams building a vehicle from a scrapyard wreck and trying to get it to do a lap of said scrapyard..

Another little story I should tell was that just before I left home I was meant to be studying for my O levels...
So, I convinced my parents that I needed help and extas lessons of physics (well, I never went, as it was at the same time as one of the more 'friendly' girls in my class could go home for an hour, as her Mum was always out at that time - you get my drift ??)
So, my parents duly paid me the fee I was 'paying' my physics teacher each week, and off I toddled to the pub to drink beer (strangely with the same teacher!!) each wednesday - remember, i was 14 or just 15 at the time..
THEN, one day there was a Parent/Teacher meeting, so my foolish folks went along, and thanked the teacher for all the extra lessons he was giving me, and at such a good fee. He clearly knew nothing about it, and the fact that it had been going on for many months. The following day I left home, in my school uniform, armed with only two shillings and sixpence....
I will try to dig out a couple of pictures at some stage...
 
My biggest white lie - I'm a photographer and I know all about rugby :LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL:
 
When my little sister was .. well littler :LOL: she had a lot of food aversions. Every time she came to stay with us I would try and encourage her to eat something new. But since everyone in the family had already done this, the reasons you gave her to try something new weren't working anymore.

Anyway this particular visit I managed to get her to eat some cheese at long last! :clap: How? Well I picked the mildest thing I could think of, Edam, and told her it was fake cheese for people who don't like real cheese. And that's why it had the red skin on it so that you knew it was that one. It worked :cautious: for a few years actually :LOL: Then of course she said something at one of her friends houses or something when she was offered tea and the cat was let out of the bag. However now she eats cheese happily, along with many other foods these days, due to a few white lies ;)

:LOL: @ Steve
 
"Forsaking all others" I kept my fingers crossed for that bit! :LOL:
 
steveinspain said:
Well, I shouldn't name names, but he now has a show about 2 teams building a vehicle from a scrapyard wreck and trying to get it to do a lap of said scrapyard..
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Ah say no more... Although I prefer his co presenter :D
 
no darling that dress does not make u look fat you look amazing
 
size doesn't matter.....


..... don't worry, it happens sometimes.......



:LOL::LOL:

Sorry, cider allows me to lower the tone :D
 
I met a girl and told her my parents owned a large local ford dealership of the same name, she was in awe believing my story for a few days until I was finally rumbled.
She forgave me and we are still together to this day after a very long time:love::love::love:
 
I once had people believe that I was brought up by Shaolin monks until the age of 12.
 
Mr Bing said:
no darling that dress does not make u look fat you look amazing
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I don't tend to tell lies, though sometimes I probably should.

My ex (who was legendary for her volatile temper) once walked into my computer room while I was working, did a twirl in a new pair of trousers she'd bought and said "Do these trousers make my bum look fat?"

Without looking up I immediately replied "No, it was all the ********* ice cream and chocolate you ate that made your bum look fat"

That was about 10 years ago and most of the scars are no longer visible.
 
Went out one Monday morning saying I will be back later, came back home 6 months later to get the rest of my stuff.
 
spannerdude said:
I don't tend to tell lies, though sometimes I probably should.

My ex (who was legendary for her volatile temper) once walked into my computer room while I was working, did a twirl in a new pair of trousers she'd bought and said "Do these trousers make my bum look fat?"

Without looking up I immediately replied "No, it was all the ********* ice cream and chocolate you ate that made your bum look fat"

That was about 10 years ago and most of the scars are no longer visible.
Click to expand...

Your braver than i EVER will be!
 
No its the truth.... honest. Felt sorry for you;)
 
No, really, these white lenses are that colour because they are "seconds" and cost far less than the black ones :D
 
i wish that would work cobra!!
 
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