I think it needs more DOF. Some good settings I learnt from the forum were to use manual @ 1/200 f11 iso100-200. The flash will freeze any movement. Diffusing the flash will help with the highlights too. HTH
Yep you miss focussed, it is just behind the eyes. As above use 1/200, f11 iso 100 and diffuse the flash to cut the harshness. Not a bad attempt
Definately better now Trev
Loads Better Trev