you're invited.....but bring your camera....

Chipper said:
I've had this on a small scale. I am trying to figure out what to do about it too. I was asked in front of people if I would 'do the photos'. Since getting an ambushed yes, I am now feeling somewhat used as we haven\t seen her for ages and she makes no effort to stay in touch. ah well... there it is.
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If you don't feel comfortable then don't do it, as you have said the person concerned does not make an effort so why should you?
Just think what their reaction would be if they didn't like the shots?
I have been in this situation, where some people had huge enlargements done and others were really quite blase about them.
I am of the opinion, that if you do a job for free, some people use that as an excuse to slag you off for no reason.
 
WHOOPS , I accidentally formatted the card (damn that upsets people that expect things for nothing )
 
I have been asked to attend my wife,s sister's baby's christening on 7th April

Mainly co's I have a camera and stuff Im thinking-

The wifes sister went into details of when photo's could and couldnt be taken-according to the Vicar's remit- to which I prompty replied "Why are you telling me" and wandered off into the kitchen :LOL:


Les :D
 
I'm preparing myself for the same thing to come my way in a couple of weeks time regarding my nephew's wedding.

I've prepared my answer, which will be something like "Sure, I'll take some photos. Just get the wedding party in to their footy kit and out on the hotel lawn for a knock about and I'll be there with my 400 f2.8 waiting for the goals and the celes" :D
 
Lez325 said:
I have been asked to attend my wife,s sister's baby's christening on 7th April

Mainly co's I have a camera and stuff Im thinking-

The wifes sister went into details of when photo's could and couldnt be taken-according to the Vicar's remit- to which I prompty replied "Why are you telling me" and wandered off into the kitchen :LOL:


Les :D
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Sounds like our "outlaws" Les, fortunately we had a big falling out last year so we don't see them any more.
I did a christening for them a few years ago (they also expected me to turn up with my camera). All went well until a few weeks later, when the BiL accused me of putting the pictures on FB (which I didn't). I pointed out that it was his son who had done it (from the disc I gave them).
Very often, the people who expect things for free are the people who cause the most trouble, and as we found out last year, they are often the least trustworthy and quite often have criminal tendancies.
 
One of the problems I have encountered is that people just don’t understand or appreciate the amount of work and pressure involved in photographing an event like a wedding. There you are hoping to celebrate an occasion and, instead of enjoying yourself, you are worried about getting all the right photographs and hoping nothing goes wrong and the people actually like what you’ve done.

When I try to explain that I get the usual responses of “but it’s easy, you’ve got an expensive digital camera.” And “But you enjoy taking pictures.”

It’s not the camera taking pictures it’s me! And, yes I enjoy taking pictures – landscapes mainly and for my own pleasure. If others like them, that’s fine. If they don’t, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. Unlike a wedding where if I screw up I’m public enemy No 1.

Trying to explain that to some people is like banging your head against the wall. I have a colleague at work who keeps going on about how “we” can have a great business doing wedding photography. It’s easy, all I have to do it take the pics, stick them in an album and “we” make a nice profit. When I ask what his contribution will be, the answer is “Well it was my idea.” I’ve had nearly four years of this and he still can’t grasp the concept of “NO!”

He even wanted to borrow my camera kit so he could do a wedding. If I wasn’t going to do it , then he’d do it himself (It’s easy because it’s digital and you just set the camera to automatic) – and he wanted my 70-300 zoom not the little lens. Why? Because the big lens looked cooler!

No wonder I prefer empty landscapes:)
 
A possible reply when someone tries the 'bring your camera' line.

Dave


Dear (insert the name of person or insulting epithet; whichever you feel is appropriate),

Thank you for inviting me to (insert name of event) on the understanding that I don't forget my camera.

I will of course be delighted to attend but only (and I stress only) on the understanding that you have engaged the services of a professional photographer. This will ensure that you get some really good photos and you do not look like a cheapskate at one of your important family events.

I also want you to understand

(a) I will NOT step into the breach if the professional photographer does not attend for any reason whatsoever, for example his/her car broke down, major equipment failure, acts of God, or in all the excitement you somehow just 'forgot' to book someone but it is going to be all right because muggins here is bringing a camera, and

(b) I will take whatever photographs I like and while I will give you copies, they all belong exclusively and in perpetuity to me and I will use them in any way I like. What seem to be the most innocent of photographs sometimes take on a completely different appearance when they are posted on Facebook, YouTube or used in an advertisement for a medical condition.

You may want to mention that last point to (insert the name of one of their embarrassing relatives).


Looking forward to the big day.

Love and kisses
 
I was invited along to a work friends wedding with a 'oh and bring your camera, it'll be good for your portfolio'

Now considering I have done multiple weddings being paid around £1000 at this point...

anyway he works as a bouncer in his spare time so I said I'd only do it if he came and manned the doors at my wedding

... I didn't end up getting the actual invite
 
I would turn up and do a fantastic job. Use the pics to promote yourself.
Then they owe you one. (( (Karma) ))
 
I had a similar experience. Lots of messages from my cousin asking what my son would need (high chair, meal etc) for her wedding. Eventually an email asking me to help them save for their honeymoon by doing the photos. I replied saying I didn't even do portraits so can't do a wedding. When the invite arrived there were several extra bits of paper, one with hotel details, one with directions, one begging for money for their honeymoon and one apologising to people with children as they weren't having any kids at the wedding. Saved me approx £500 on transport, hotels, dress and money for their honeymoon.
 
Julie1979 said:
I had a similar experience. Lots of messages from my cousin asking what my son would need (high chair, meal etc) for her wedding. Eventually an email asking me to help them save for their honeymoon by doing the photos. I replied saying I didn't even do portraits so can't do a wedding. When the invite arrived there were several extra bits of paper, one with hotel details, one with directions, one begging for money for their honeymoon and one apologising to people with children as they weren't having any kids at the wedding. Saved me approx £500 on transport, hotels, dress and money for their honeymoon.
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:shake:
When did it all start going OTT?
Was it a gradual thing, or was one "bridezilla" sent here by aliens to multiply and make weddings the most miserable experience known to man (and woman;)).
 
andy700 said:
:shake:
When did it all start going OTT?
Was it a gradual thing, or was one "bridezilla" sent here by aliens to multiply and make weddings the most miserable experience known to man (and woman;)).
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I think it's a virus that's spread through the internet :)

I actually thought I was getting married considering the amount of "confetti" that fell out the invite.
 
Nattelie, how does this so called friend expect you to get the required pictures of the christening considering your wheelchair bound?

I know that at the time that Julian(wheels) had his wheelchair modded , I remember that Cowasaki made some small mods to your chair, would these mods enable you to get the pictures that an able bodied person would?

If not why can your friend not understand that.



John:)
 
j37r said:
Nattelie, how does this so called friend expect you to get the required pictures of the christening considering your wheelchair bound?

I know that at the time that Julian(wheels) had his wheelchair modded , I remember that Cowasaki made some small mods to your chair, would these mods enable you to get the pictures that an able bodied person would?

If not why can your friend not understand that.



John:)
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John - people are very selfish, they do not consider other people, they do not take into account other people's situations.

If the they want something then they will try to get it - no holds barred:(
 
Well, I haven't heard any more since the other day. She asked months ago if I would take pictures, I made it clear that I wouldn't promise anything, but would take my camera. (It does go everywhere with me really.) I told her that I didn't guarantee a single shotbut any pics I did take, she could have copies of and recommended a local tog to be the tog.

Truthfully John, I have no idea. My condition is controlled enough now to use crutches a lot of the time, just not for distance, I can't stand for long, I fall multiple times a day etc, etc. I sincerely don't think that she grasps that I have a severe disability and several minor (in comparison) disabilities. I push myself too hard physically being a mum (not an issue - I'd do anything fo my baby) but I can't actually think of a reason to do it at all....

Hubby reckons that I shouldn't bother going, and tbh I'm beginning to agree.
 
j37r said:
Nattelie, how does this so called friend expect you to get the required pictures of the christening considering your wheelchair bound?

I know that at the time that Julian(wheels) had his wheelchair modded , I remember that Cowasaki made some small mods to your chair, would these mods enable you to get the pictures that an able bodied person would?

If not why can your friend not understand that.



John:)
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Since when has a wheelchair prevented a photographer in a wheelchair getting required shots ( also wheelchair bound is a derogatory term wheelchair user is more acceptable ) I have done weddings , fashion and comercial , portraits and sports photography from a wheelchair for many years , for a photographer in a wheelchair it is more about learning to be creative with angles and focal lengths to get the required shots , I worked as a photographer for well over a decade before I became a wheelchair user and apart from peoples stereotypes of "required shots" ability to compete with non disabled photographers etc and the boring traditionalist thinking and theories of composition , which in many ways are detrimental to creative and interesting photography , I have found as have other photographers who are wheelchair users and Professional photographers absolutely no major issues or barriers that adaptation of style and technique could not overcome .
 
AndyA said:
Since when has a wheelchair prevented a photographer in a wheelchair getting required shots ( also wheelchair bound is a derogatory term wheelchair user is more acceptable ) I have done weddings , fashion and comercial , portraits and sports photography from a wheelchair for many years , for a photographer in a wheelchair it is more about learning to be creative with angles and focal lengths to get the required shots , I worked as a photographer for well over a decade before I became a wheelchair user and apart from peoples stereotypes of "required shots" ability to compete with non disabled photographers etc and the boring traditionalist thinking and theories of composition , which in many ways are detrimental to creative and interesting photography , I have found as have other photographers who are wheelchair users and Professional photographers absolutely no major issues or barriers that adaptation of style and technique could not overcome .
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Well said Andy. (y) Creativity and adaptability are the key to living life with a disability.

I should probably clarify my previous post.... Hubby is my carer and obviously little lady's Daddy, however, he doesn't "do" churches unless he HAS to....so he won't be there regardless, in the church. Trying to manage a camera with sticks is hard enough. Trying to take pics with crutches and a baby at the same time, is impossible...
 
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I agree, well said Andy...and I will take your correction on board.

I come into contact with many wheelchair users in my day job and have nothing but admiration for the way they take all that life can throw at them and still come through with a positive attitude.

Nattelie, if you do decide to go just stick to what you advised her in the first place, you can't do any more.

Baby is more important. By the way have you posted a picture of your daughter on here?

John:)
 
I would steer clear of making excuses, they can have a tendancy to come back to haunt you! Just say how you feel, you're there as a mummy first and a photographer second. You'll get the shots if you can without neglecting your own baby. If they don't like it then tough. I'm annoyed just reading about it!
 
As has been said, I'd tell them before hand that I wouldn't be taking a camera... If they p*** and moan I wouldn't even turn up. It would be clear where their priorities lie. Photographer>friend.
 
I think a big part of these scenarios is sheer naivety on part of the people making the request and to a degree its understandable. The degree of ease a "snapshot" can be taken these days is amazing with phones, digital compacts getting better all the time. I simply don't think these people realise the vast jump it is from a decent snap on a compact to a well thought out, well lit and processed image and the time involved. All we can do is educate them of their nativity and if they still persist then it crosses into ignorance because even if they don't understand themselves, then they should respect your views and reasons for declining their request.
 
Well....nice little scenario....

Sometimes you scratch yourhead and think "seriously???"

I went, hubby came in with me, she booked a local pro tog and I took my nifty50.

Now to delve a little deeper into the story...

I didn't go to the reception, the Church was enough (I was too unwell to go to the reception). The photographer was so skinny that she was invisible and so quiet her instructions couldn't be heard. My darling daughter fed the duration. Hubby got a few snapshots (no flash, iso800 on a sony, so noisy....) and I roughly processed 6 of them and put them on FB.... Many others also took snapshots from far better vantage points. (I deliberately sat out of the way, so I could feed discreetly.) Today an album appears from mummy of baby of his Christening....my pics and 2 that she took from the reception, along with a status thanking people for going and "thanks to the photographer and DJ".

So...my gut instinct was right. What a surprise. I'm far too caring for my own good....if I didn't care about said baby and wasn't religious, I wouldn't have gone....especially as it seemed the priest and I were the only religious ones there. Actually glad that I didn't get a single good pic and my heart sank when I reliesed that she had lied about booking a tog. Maybe that's catty, but this is the third time that it has been done to me. Given that the pics will be viewed mostly on peoples phones, they're ok. Printed in lustre probably wouldn't be too bad ether.

A cringeworthy stage show. C4 eat your heart out....
 
This has happened to me on several occasions and I fell for it once, thinking I was doing a favour for a friend when they hadn't actually booked a pro tog at all.

I don't even shoot portraits or people but because they had seen that I've shot a few decent landscape shots then that meant I must be able to do a Christening. :bang:

Now I just refuse to take my camera anywhere I don't want to.
 
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MagicMynx said:
Well....nice little scenario....

Sometimes you scratch yourhead and think "seriously???"

I went, hubby came in with me, she booked a local pro tog and I took my nifty50.

Now to delve a little deeper into the story...

I didn't go to the reception, the Church was enough (I was too unwell to go to the reception). The photographer was so skinny that she was invisible and so quiet her instructions couldn't be heard. My darling daughter fed the duration. Hubby got a few snapshots (no flash, iso800 on a sony, so noisy....) and I roughly processed 6 of them and put them on FB.... Many others also took snapshots from far better vantage points. (I deliberately sat out of the way, so I could feed discreetly.) Today an album appears from mummy of baby of his Christening....my pics and 2 that she took from the reception, along with a status thanking people for going and "thanks to the photographer and DJ".

So...my gut instinct was right. What a surprise. I'm far too caring for my own good....if I didn't care about said baby and wasn't religious, I wouldn't have gone....especially as it seemed the priest and I were the only religious ones there. Actually glad that I didn't get a single good pic and my heart sank when I reliesed that she had lied about booking a tog. Maybe that's catty, but this is the third time that it has been done to me. Given that the pics will be viewed mostly on peoples phones, they're ok. Printed in lustre probably wouldn't be too bad ether.

A cringeworthy stage show. C4 eat your heart out....
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Some "friend" :razz:

Keep enjoying the hobby without people like this (y)
 
I hope the friend's baby never sleeps through the night until it's at least 5. Serve the selfish parents right!!

Personally, I would have not passed any shots on. If asked the memory card failed ;)
 
MagicMynx said:
Well....

Today an album appears from mummy of baby of his Christening....my pics and 2 that she took from the reception, along with a status thanking people for going and "thanks to the photographer and DJ".

So...my gut instinct was right. ...
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Thanks for the update but I still don't understand what was posted on Friendface? What about the Pro's photos?
 
MagicMynx said:
Well....nice little scenario....

Sometimes you scratch yourhead and think "seriously???"

I went, hubby came in with me, she booked a local pro tog and I took my nifty50.

Maybe that's catty, but this is the third time that it has been done to me.

A cringeworthy stage show. C4 eat your heart out....
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Three times ... then why do you keep allowing it to happen? I'm sorry to sound blunt but it's little wonder photographers are taken advantage of if they continually allow this to happen. At this stage I would be inclined to give your so called 'friend' a mouthful - you'll probably feel much better if you do! ;)

As has been said, lesson learned.
 
Cause I'm a mug...evidently. The first time was my so called best mate....my chief bridesmaid!! Never heard from her again after she got her photos (whole shebang). The second time, I flat out refused. This was the third time, a lass I grew up with, we got back in contact when were both pregnant. Ultimately it's cause people know I have a pants memory, hence all the photos... They see a big camera, so it must be one of those posh ones that take nice photos... :/ sadly, I'm a mug and at the time, usually believe that they're my friends. Says something, I know...
 
I think you deserve better from your friends Nattelie. Sometimes in life we have to take stock, analyse the dynamics of a relationship, and dump the free-loaders (or else downgrade the relationship) ... it's not always easy to put your foot down, I know, but you will probably feel better for it! Sometimes the culprits are even family - you need to be firmer still and they'll get the message. And if they don't ... it's not the end of the world!
 
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