aarrgghh!!!!

Some are saying the time for politeness is past etc. but have you actually come out and said politely "please stop coming round so much"? maybe all it will take is a polite "leave us in peace" but you won't know till you try.
 
An old boss has a trick for getting rid of a couple of rep's that used to come round that he dealt with but didn't really like too much. He'd make half a cup of coffee for them. If they pointed it out (people usually do) he'd say, "You're not stopping that long".
 
Steep said:
Some are saying the time for politeness is past etc. but have you actually come out and said politely "please stop coming round so much"? maybe all it will take is a polite "leave us in peace" but you won't know till you try.
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I was waiting to see when someone would suggest this. Thank you.
 
To be honest I think you deserve the punishment for the disrespect you are showing your partner by referring to her as "her indoors" constantly. Who does that?
 
just don't answer the door
she'l probably feel insulted knowing your are in and stay away on principle

or a milder method make a deadline use the kids as an excuse saying i need to settle them and 7pm is kicking out time in order for them to get a good nights sleep because visitors after that time are a distraction.

during work / school hours just ignore her

or just don't do anything while she's there
no telly and no conversation just sit there ( your wife has to do the same ) they soon get the message
 
Steep said:
Some are saying the time for politeness is past etc. but have you actually come out and said politely "please stop coming round so much"? maybe all it will take is a polite "leave us in peace" but you won't know till you try.
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joescrivens said:
To be honest I think you deserve the punishment for the disrespect you are showing your partner by referring to her as "her indoors" constantly. Who does that?
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Quite.

Terry - have you ever actually asked the woman to leave? I get the impression you just skulk around in the background hoping. That's not going to get you very far...
 
Daysleeper40 said:
have you ever actually asked the woman to leave? ...
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This

next time she comes round sit her down and say "look, I don't want to be rude but you are coming round far too much, could you please give us some space and not come round as regularly .. thank you "

That conversation needs to be both you and swimbo so that she sees a united front

if that fails to get the message through then next time she calls it's time for the well know expression ending in "off" and closing the door in a her face :)
 
tezmed said:
might try and take a pic in a minute and will post over you-tube and on MI5's website as a national security risk!!
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That could do it! Sit next to them and take shots. Lots of shots. Say it's for a project or a competition. Keep asking her to `look this way...yeah, keep doing that scowl...'

Defcon Three would be to go over to hers at around 6AM and insist she goes through the 200 pics you took last night, as you don't want to post any she doesn't like on the website...yeah, a bacon sandwich'd go well, ta, and another cuppa...no, I'm in no rush, got all day. Be brilliant if you could come over again tonight, I'll take a load more... :D
 
other possibilities include , sitting arround in your underpants scratching strategically :LOL:

Blowing your nose then handing her the used tissue

going to the toilet and then coming in and declaring " I've just done an enourmous turd, come and see"

wiping your nose on a tea towel before drying a mug with it and then turning to her and saying "coffee ? "

telling her "I've invited my mate 'bob' round to make a foursome, you'll like him he's single ;)" - then getting one of your mates to come round and either hit on her in an off puttingly lecherous way / or to act a total geek and talk to her about star wars for four hours, when she makes her excuses say " oh wasnt this fun, shall I invite bob round tommorow as well ? :LOL:

and inviting a bunch of TPrs round one of whom then says to her "oh you're the girl tery was talking about, it was really good of you to agree to pose naked for us in return for all the teaching tuition you've been getting "
 
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You really need to have a word with this woman - it's gone on long enough and the fact that it's causing friction between you and your wife means that you really need to sort this out. As a father of two, I know how busy family life can and also how precious time spent with the kids is - you really don't need this woman disrupting your family anymore.

I would simply explain to her that she is coming over too often and staying too late and that you would like to spend some quality time with your family alone. Hopefully, that should give her the message.

Good luck.
 
Do you know anyone with pet rats you could borrow?
 
I`d tell her and the missus where to go if she dont sort it (y)
 
Raymond Lin said:
What the hell is "the indoors"? Is this the wife? What a weird nickname.
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'her indoors' is a pretty standard british slang term for 'the wife'* I think it comes originally from the old days of two husbands talking over the garden fence about 'her indoors' as inside would have been the wifes domain while the garden was man's work

(* aka Swimbo (she who must be obeyed), LoML (love/light of my life), the missus, the other half, and if one if feeling truly puke inducing - you only usually see this on on american forums MBGITW (most beautiful girl in the world) :puke: )
 
I'm always calling my husband him indoors, I certainly don't disrespect him. It's a playful term of endearment :D but let's not take the thread off track by what we call our other halves.

I'm with the direct approach. But it's easier said than done on an internet forum. I wonder if we were in the same position, would we be able to say "look you are starting to overstay your welcome a bit, can you not come round"

Maybe the sarcastic approach would work better and just tell her you'll start charging her rent
 
kelack said:
I'm with the direct approach. But it's easier said than done on an internet forum. I wonder if we were in the same position, would we be able to say "look you are starting to overstay your welcome a bit, can you not come round"
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You are absolutely right kelly theres no way i'd be able to say that face to face - i'd be far more likely to say

" for ****s sake woman can you stop ****ing bothering us with your tedious whining, you're not welcome here so **** off "

Which would certainly get the message accross - although it might set neighbourly relations back an ice age or two
 
Wear some of your wifes dresses and makeup and parade around the house in it?
 
she sounds like she's got issues. If it was me... as soon as i walked thru the door i'd say... 'bloody nora, you here again.. why don't you move in?' but then follow up with a 'listen, seriously... you can't keep coming round here like this.. we need some space'...

i have a feeling she'll find it difficult to comprehend so you may need to also throw a bucket of water right in her face with no warning whatsoever (y)
 
kelack said:
I'm with the direct approach. But it's easier said than done on an internet forum. I wonder if we were in the same position, would we be able to say "look you are starting to overstay your welcome a bit, can you not come round"
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I know what you mean, but it sounds as if the neighbour is either very thick skinned or has some problems of her own, and I don't think she's going to take a hint. You have to deal with these situations, and the longer you leave it, the harder it's going to get because it's become an expectation, and she probably thinks you enjoy her company. You don't have a lot of choice really. Tell her, firmly but courteously, that it has to stop, or put up with it and hope that it sorts itself out.
 
as a start can you never let her enter the building.

if she comes to the door - chat on the doorstep and then after a few minutes do an "anyway really gotta go - I am right in the middle of cooking/cleaning/sorting out" move and shut the door

just don't invite her in, ever.
 
She clearly has problems and needs help.
Have you considered actually offering help?
What I have in mind is to explain that because of the amount of time she spends at your house, and the problems that she's clearly having with her studies, it's very clear that she needs help from experts because, even if you and your wife had the time to carry on with these long visits, you don't have the expertise she needs... Offer to find out who the best people/agencies are for her problems, offer to make appointments for her, offer to put her in touch with professional counsellors and so on.

That way, you should be able to both help her and get rid of her at the same time.
 
Garry Edwards said:
She clearly has problems and needs help.
Have you considered actually offering help?
What I have in mind is to explain that because of the amount of time she spends at your house, and the problems that she's clearly having with her studies, it's very clear that she needs help from experts because, even if you and your wife had the time to carry on with these long visits, you don't have the expertise she needs... Offer to find out who the best people/agencies are for her problems, offer to make appointments for her, offer to put her in touch with professional counsellors and so on.

That way, you should be able to both help her and get rid of her at the same time.
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Wise words(y) gotta be better than getting the gimp gear out;)
 
I have little time for parasites I'm afraid, and I would simply tell her to sling her hook.

In addition though.....when your other half is doing other things (not parasite related perhaps), and your dinner isn't done or ready....here's an idea....feed yourself! lol
 
Tell her to ***** off repeatedly at the front door and not let her in, and then sell her kids into slavery, that'll pay for the coffee and biscuits
 
Write her a letter tellin her how you feel ! If that fails hire a hit man !
 
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