BBC short film - behind the scenes video added!

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BBC Radio 5 live film critic Mark Kermode set up a competition to make a short film with a U classification, so I decided to have a go. (And we won!)

I really wanted to make a film which required no actors, no budget and no CGI, but still told a story. And though I failed to achieve every single one of those, I was fairly close!

Please let me know what you think.

 
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Thanks for that!
It was made with various different techniques. Trial and error, reversing some footage, thread (some of which I cloned out), and a lot of patience.
 
Top job. The children enjoyed it too! I now have to purchase some table tennis balls :)
 
Thanks for both your comments!

The cameras I used were a 7d for the indoors stuff (as I didn't have my 5d mk ii to hand), an iPhone 5S for the shot where the camera went through the railings just outside, and my 5d mk ii for the rest of the outdoor bits. The main editing software was Final Cut Pro X, and I used the 'animation' tool to load some clips into Photoshop, in order to clone out the string frame by frame - a horribly tedious process!

I'm very sorry you've got to buy some ping pong balls! It might be worth mentioning to your children that they don't actually have faces...
 
Love it :)
 
Thanks very much!

Does anyone have any criticisms of the film?! I'm hoping to become a filmmaker, so I'd like to hear any ways that I might improve in future. (y)

I'll give some more critical feedback later... bit busy.
 
Thanks for both your comments!

And I look forward to your feedback, David. (y) But don't feel in any hurry...
 
OK... being far more critical:

Black screen at the start lasts too long for me. It's more than 10 seconds, so fade titles in sooner.

Opening title seems a little amateurish... with lens flares and brush script type font. I'd have gone for the cleaner font used on end credits for both, as this looks more professional, and also maintains consistency in style.

I'd have used colour grading more effectively: There's an impression of "escape" when Pong finally exits, so the initial house interior shots would be more effective if they used cooler tones to make the viewer feel as if Pong is not happy to be inside.. make it less homely in other words... then switch to the warmer palette once "free".

Colour grading should have gone cooler again when the rain starts to fall.. again, to make the scene less hospitable and to unsettle the viewer...

The final scene where Pong and Slinky seek refuge, it may have been more effective if instead of sheltering under the branches, they actually engineered a way of getting BACK into the house... and then once inside, the colour grading again switches back to a warmer palette for a cosy finish to their little adventure :)


Other than that, it's an engaging, amusing, and emotional little short. Well done :) Well crafted animation using some simple, but clever techniques... it must have taken ages, but worth it.
 
I'll give you my critique...

My main complaint about it is, I couldn't see the wires...
I was raised in the generation of The Thunderbirds (Google the original) and I'm used to seeing wires, this was obviously made with sorcery, it's madness!!!

But seriously, absolutely fantastic film, superbly made. The music fit well with the storyline and the characters were very suited to each other, I didn't want it to end!

You should be very proud of your creation and I wish you all the best for the competition.
 
I agree with the opening credits being a little amateurish. Do you have FCPX's Motion equivalent? Do you have a high enough budget to commission someone on Fiverr.com (about £8 for a short opening credit)?

Also agree that the grade isn't differentiating between inside and out.

Technically really nice with a couple of areas I'd look at:
* The brick wall and gravel are aliasing in a couple of shots,
* Something jars on the railing flythrough, I can't tell if it's a cut that makes the railing appear too wide, a brief focus move or what?
* Your audio is too high, you need to peak at -10 and average about -18 to -23. Go higher and YouTube reduces the dynamic range.

Really enjoyed it!
 
Wow, thanks so much for taking the time to do that David!

I agree totally with the first two comments - both things I'll avoid in future.

And you're completely right about the colour balance as well. I always find I'm too busy focussing on other things when actually filming to worry about colour balance, and then I'm never satisfied with the results of trying to correct it in post-production! But it's something I definitely need to pay more attention to, because when used correctly it can really enhance a story. (Inception is a classic example of that, where each level of the dream has different tones to help the viewer differentiate between them.)

Your final point's an interesting idea; I originally planned for them to try and find refuge in a shed, but the film had to be under 2 minutes for the competition, and I thought I was already cramming an awful lot into that time frame!

So yes, I'm really grateful for your comments, and I'll watch the white balance more in future... ;)
 
I'm a long time listener of the kermode and mayo's film review show so its interesting to see the type of stuff people are sending in. I really like the film, the animation is top notch :) I agree the black screen at the start was a little long but apart from that its a cracking little film. Good luck!
 
I'll give you my critique...

My main complaint about it is, I couldn't see the wires...
I was raised in the generation of The Thunderbirds (Google the original) and I'm used to seeing wires, this was obviously made with sorcery, it's madness!!!

But seriously, absolutely fantastic film, superbly made. The music fit well with the storyline and the characters were very suited to each other, I didn't want it to end!

You should be very proud of your creation and I wish you all the best for the competition.

That made me laugh! I remember seeing some of those old Thunderbirds, but for me they always detracted from the story a little. That probably explains why I wanted to be so thorough with removing the string. And I never knew until recently that you could have the power of Photoshop at your fingertips when editing videos; making this film has been a real learning curve for me.

Thanks for your kind comments!
 
I agree with the opening credits being a little amateurish. Do you have FCPX's Motion equivalent? Do you have a high enough budget to commission someone on Fiverr.com (about £8 for a short opening credit)?

Also agree that the grade isn't differentiating between inside and out.

Technically really nice with a couple of areas I'd look at:
* The brick wall and gravel are aliasing in a couple of shots,
* Something jars on the railing flythrough, I can't tell if it's a cut that makes the railing appear too wide, a brief focus move or what?
* Your audio is too high, you need to peak at -10 and average about -18 to -23. Go higher and YouTube reduces the dynamic range.

Really enjoyed it!

Thanks for your comments!
I don't have Motion or anything like it, actually. I've never really felt in my comfort zone when creating things from nothing - I'm far more into manipulating images which already have something there, rather than just a blank screen! But I guess it's an aspect of filmmaking that's worth investigating. Funny you should mention Fiverr, because I was just looking at all the title-creation options today, and wishing I had found them before rather than after the competition closing date... :bonk: Oh well, next time!

Yeah, I noticed the aliasing - I simply don't know of a solution for it, other than always having those areas out of focus. But you don't even notice it on the (relatively low-res) 5d mk ii screen, and I think the slinky itself sometimes has aliasing issues. I guess it's just one of the few real drawbacks of using SLRs for filming.

You're completely right about the flythrough; it was a cut, using an iPhone 5S in a horrendously-makeshift lego casing, and I think the issue is that at first the camera's directly facing the door, but when it goes through, it's then rotated right a bit. That was badly explained, I know, but hopefully you get the gist. Definitely something I'll avoid in future (as is using an iPhone in the first place - horrible things to try to get decent footage out of).

Might you be able to explain a bit more about the audio, as it's something I've never understood? I always find that it's too quiet to listen to on a laptop if I don't raise the audio volume... (I've got a Zoom H4N, and I don't like to raise the record levels too much because otherwise it has the tendency to distort if it gets too loud.)

And again, I don't get the whole thing about peaking at minus levels. I'm always raising the audio to 12db in FCPX, as otherwise you can barely hear a thing! Is that completely wrong? I have a horrible feeling it is...

Sorry to have all these questions, but audio's something I've never got on with very well... :crying:
 
I'm a long time listener of the kermode and mayo's film review show so its interesting to see the type of stuff people are sending in. I really like the film, the animation is top notch :) I agree the black screen at the start was a little long but apart from that its a cracking little film. Good luck!

Thanks for that! Pause the video at 56 seconds, and there's an Easter egg for you (and any other Kermode & Mayo regulars). ;) We went for subtle, but it actually ended up being so subtle that I honestly don't think a single person would notice it of their own accord!
 
Very welcome. Maybe it's a generational thing but for me seeing the wires was part of the charm of it all, you knew it wasn't real but you didn't care.
Yeah, it probably is a generational thing - I was only born in 1993! But I do know what you mean; it's a bit like the crackle on an LP.
 
I've just checked and FCP X uses different audio meters to previous versions. You also need to expand them to show the full meter.

Larry Jordan has a table in his book - you can peak at the full mix level as there is no dialogue. If you add positive gain, you risk clipping the audio (having the signal go above the maximum value available) http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=...iewport&dq=fcpx+audio+levels&output=html_text

I think Aliasing can only be fully understood and dealt with if you understand the cause. Maybe I'll write something at the weekend.
 
I love it, agree with the lead in being to long and a change in the ending but otherwise it was great

H
 
You have inspired me to learn more about video. Thanks for sharing. :)

Not very helpful critique I know but for what it's worth I think your short film its brilliant.

I have subscribed to this thread because the critique from others is so good. :)
 
I've just checked and FCP X uses different audio meters to previous versions. You also need to expand them to show the full meter.

Larry Jordan has a table in his book - you can peak at the full mix level as there is no dialogue. If you add positive gain, you risk clipping the audio (having the signal go above the maximum value available) http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=V3NJu5OetU0C&pg=SA9-PA34&lpg=SA9-PA33&ots=Y-RBfJ2IxL&focus=viewport&dq=fcpx audio levels&output=html_text

I think Aliasing can only be fully understood and dealt with if you understand the cause. Maybe I'll write something at the weekend.
Thanks, that's been really helpful. I think I now know what I have to do in future, even though I still wouldn't say I understand the technicalities behind it all very well... :bonk:

And I think I know a little about what causes aliasing, but not much; I've turned sharpening all the way down in-camera, but other than that I don't really see what else can be done to avoid it.

Anyway, thanks for all your help! :)
 
I love it, agree with the lead in being to long and a change in the ending but otherwise it was great

H
Thanks, yes - I think those two points are both valid, and I'll take them on board in future. I always find endings to be the hardest thing to think up. If you have a good basis for a film, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to come up with a good ending. That's why I'm such a fan of Christopher Nolan, who ends his films in the most incredible ways. :love:
 
You have inspired me to learn more about video. Thanks for sharing. :)

Not very helpful critique I know but for what it's worth I think your short film its brilliant.

I have subscribed to this thread because the critique from others is so good. :)
I'm glad you liked it! I've never had any formal training in filmmaking, I've just played with cameras and read things on forums like these. It's amazing the extent to which you can teach yourself online nowadays...

What I love about filming is that it's all deception! Like if you watch the film again, when the camera goes through the railings (47 seconds in), the ball on the right of the railings is a ping pong ball, but the one when it comes through is a great big white rubber ball - as obviously a ping pong ball couldn't have bounced that far down a long alleyway. But of course the idea of filmmaking is that the audience doesn't notice all the tricks involved.
 
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That is a great job. I can tell that you have a spent a lot of time on this. It is a nice story, well shot and brilliantly edited. On first viewing, it is difficult to find any faults.
Everyone has mentioned the black opening which is too long but other than that, an excellent piece of work. well done.
 
I wasn't expecting that, dunno what I was expecting to be honest but that was actually quality work!

Loved the little face drawn on pong!

Music worked well, I wouldnt get too hung up on the intro part but shorter would be more ideal. I think the most important thing to concentrate on is colour grading.

Great stuff
 
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