Bbq Season!! %@**!£

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Mark
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RING ANY BELLS LADIES?????

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After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3a ) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(3b ) The man lights the BBQ using at least two litres of petrol sending flames roaring up & preventing the grill from being used for 30 minutes whilst the fumes recede

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with

the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
 
I don't like BBQ. I don't like any large DIY stores.
 
GfK - is your real name Ron by any chance? ;)

A few corrections are in order here...

I go into the kitchen and get the meat myself - sometimes i even open the pack of sausages.

It takes skill not to burn the meat and not to poison everyone

I take the cooked meat back in and take the halloumi cheese,corn cobs and whatever else back out for the second round of cooking.

I have to get my own beer.

I tidy up the kitchen afterwards (well usually).

See - I work hard doing a BBQ
 
my neighbour has a gas BBQ, and we have a screen.......:0
 
BBQ's are cool !!

We've already had 3 this year :)
 
<Mary Whitehouse Experience>

"The trouble with BBQs is, they don't cook food"

*sketch featuring man cooking on BBQ, bites 'cooked' chicken, lots of blood.

*lengthy pause*

"I think this could just do with another couple of minutes"

:)
 
Having a BBQ at the weekend, just forwarded this to the 'women' for correct education.

:)
 
Just had one....and I bought the food as well as prepared it.
Note to self.....Read photography and general chat before doing anything.
 
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