Christened but not religous.

kiteninja

kiteninja

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Morgan Lee
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Can anyone shed some light on this matter, nothing to do with me im just curious as to why people get there kids christened but they do not attend church nore are they religous so what is the point?

So I ask, Why bother doing it?
 
The same people that buy lottery tickets? :shrug:
 
A question I have often asked. My sister has had all her kids christened but never sets foot inside a church. Its a completely pointless exercise. Godparents have not legal responsibilities. So, what is their purpose?
 
:LOL: Neither of my kids were christened due to both myself and their father being totally agnostic. This didn't concern my side of the family at all, my folks had only had us christened because it was the expected thing to do 40yrs ago. However, my hubbys family were mortified. In the main this was because christening were just another excuse for a family p***-up and I had already provided them with enough free booze at the wedding thankyou very much! However, I will never forget my nan-in-law saying to me....

"but you have to have her christened, what if something happens to her, you won't be able to have a funeral"

:eek: :LOL:

To answer the question though, I think a lot of it these days is down to 2 things - older family members that are genuinely religious or believers [and you DONT have to attend a church to have faith btw] and doing it 'for them'. Or primary schools - many good ones are religious and are more likely to offer a place if the child is baptised into that faith. Finally of course, as I said earlier, although I am personally agnostic, I think a lot of people do still believe even if they dont attend church and when the curtains open on life or close on it, they fall back on their faith. Just my opinion, but its how I see it. ;)
 
I don't think it caused family rows but a few murmurs in our house. My wife would have liked to have had our daughter christened. I felt we should leave it and when she was older she could make up her own mind.

Having been christend a RC I didn't want my child going through the whole excommunication stuff. (I married in a C of E church)
 
Yv said:
:LOL: Neither of my kids were christened due to both myself and their father being totally agnostic. This didn't concern my side of the family at all, my folks had only had us christened because it was the expected thing to do 40yrs ago. However, my hubbys family were mortified. In the main this was because christening were just another excuse for a family p***-up and I had already provided them with enough free booze at the wedding thankyou very much! However, I will never forget my nan-in-law saying to me....

"but you have to have her christened, what if something happens to her, you won't be able to have a funeral"

:eek: :LOL:

To answer the question though, I think a lot of it these days is down to 2 things - older family members that are genuinely religious or believers [and you DONT have to attend a church to have faith btw] and doing it 'for them'. Or primary schools - many good ones are religious and are more likely to offer a place if the child is baptised into that faith. Finally of course, as I said earlier, although I am personally agnostic, I think a lot of people do still believe even if they dont attend church and when the curtains open on life or close on it, they fall back on their faith. Just my opinion, but its how I see it. ;)
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So far your on route for the Cookie, the only thin i could think of was for Primary schools as well but then its hard to find one that is churchy lol non of us i mean me and my brother & sister have been christened and we went to a fairly religious school we had to go to some church once a year for some crap.
 
kiteninja said:
Can anyone shed some light on this matter, nothing to do with me im just curious as to why people get there kids christened but they do not attend church nore are they religous so what is the point?

So I ask, Why bother doing it?
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In my parents case, it was because they wanted me and my brother to go to the Catholic school instead of the other local school due to the reading system being taught (phonics?), so I was christened when I was four and had to go through first communion at seven and confirmation at 12, at which point I already knew I was an aetheist, but it was part of the school syllabus and not optional.

If I ever have kids they will not be inducted into any religion until they are of voting age and able to make an informed decision for themselves. I will also not marry in a church nor have a religious funeral (this last is in my will).
 
onomatopoeia said:
In my parents case, it was because they wanted me and my brother to go to the Catholic school instead of the other local school due to the reading system being taught (phonics?), so I was christened when I was four and had to go through first communion at seven and confirmation at 12, at which point I already knew I was an aetheist, but it was part of the school syllabus and not optional.

If I ever have kids they will not be inducted into any religion until they are of voting age and able to make an informed decision for themselves. I will also not marry in a church nor have a religious funeral (this last is in my will).
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100% agree to the last part :)

I think I'm very nieve in this area because im aethiest but I don't know of any Catholic school's in my local area so again im reverted back to Why do they put there kids through this, are people that shallow that they have to use Religion as an excuse to get ****ed & collect gifts?
 
Unfortunately, as it has been already mentioned, a major factor is simply to get kids into faith schools (whether CoE or RC) as at Primary level they tend to score better than state schools.

There are many stories of parents openly admitting they only had their children baptised/christened to ensure a place at the faith school of choice.
 
ive been christened but i hate setting foot inside churches these days (even other peoples wedding etc are a stuggle to be honest). if/when i have kids i wont be christening them, i'll make it their own decision when theyre old enough to understand it. personally i think its a completely pointless exercise.
 
I agree, I think it's pointless too.

If the schools were muslim schools, would the children become muslims in order to get a better education?
 
Neither of my kids have been christened but that didn't prevent them getting into a faith school, it was just the nearest one so that was enough to qualify.

As neither of us are religious we decided to let them decide if they want to be christened when they're old enough to make that decision.
 
To keep the extended family happy.

Trouble is, we don't seem to have the family groups that we used to enjoy. The demise of which has resulted in so many of the problems in our society today.
 
Often because you can't get married in church unless you're christened :shrug:
Easy solution is do what I did and don't get married (y)
 
I would class myself as quite religious and I have been christened, confirmed and had first holy communion. I am a Roman Catholic and I go to church every Sunday. I think that there is point for it, as it is always better to bring up children in a religious family. It will be better in the long run, as these churches can actually teach you a lot of things and a lot of times, you can speak to the priest and get a lot of useful advise. To me, religion gives me a point to life. It is something that makes me realize the value of life. Oh and also I think that some experiences that I have had, prove to me that there is someone greater watching over me. I am sure that some of the things that have happened to me were caused by something watching over me.

Thats just my opinion. I am definitely for christening and a religious upbringing.
 
Marcel said:
I agree, I think it's pointless too.

If the schools were muslim schools, would the children become muslims in order to get a better education?
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Sadly, while I think you meant that with your tongue firmly in your cheek, I think there are lots who would stoop to whatever religon has the best schools
 
bartoszwozniak said:
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Thats just my opinion. I am definitely for christening and a religious upbringing.
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Thats all well and good but how big is the margin of people that just christen for the sake of it compared to the ones that go through all the way.
 
Thats all well and good but how big is the margin of people that just christen for the sake of it compared to the ones that go through all the way.
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Oh yeah you are very right here. I feel that if the child is not coming from a religious background and there is no intention of actual faith, then true - theres no point in christening. If the child wants to become religious they can always do it afterwards, when they are old enough. I definitely agree that it is pointless just doing it for the sake of it.

Thats a very good point.
 
Most religions offer a great grounding in right and wrong for any child.
Far superior to the X factor/fast food attitude towards your fellow man.

If they're christened and decide in future to attend Church either through school or belong to cubs/brownies they are part of a normally healthy, spiritual community.
(I know there are exceptions, so please don't quote the bl**din obvious).

I don't attend Church, but have many friends of all faiths who do and can admire their devotion and community spirit. Something that many in today's quick fix society sadly lack.
 
The main reason I did not want my daughter christened when she was young is the problems it can create.
All religions have good and bad points, whilst I believe in a moral upbringing I do not feel it is right to impose my viewpoint on my children.
 
The main reason I did not want my daughter christened when she was young is the problems it can create.
All religions have good and bad points, whilst I believe in a moral upbringing I do not feel it is right to impose my viewpoint on my children.
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Obviously I am not a father and won't be on the near future, however I feel the exact opposite to that. I feel, that as a father, you should bring your child up using YOUR moral code, and impose YOUR viewpoints on the child. You should guide them in what is right and wrong and you should be making a lot of decisions for them, even if it is against their viewpoint, but you feel that it is the right thing to do. I know that sometimes children will swear at you, abuse you and not like the decision, however if it is better for them in the long run, then it should be carried through with. For example (just a scenario): A 14 year old girl (someones daughter) wants to go to a house party, she is begging to go, because of dancing, fun etc. But the parent knows what it can be like at house parties e.g. alcohol, sex etc. You tell the girl not to go and you make her stay in the house. She will be furious, might cry etc. however you know, that you shielded her from those possible dangers. You are imposing your decision and viewpoint on the young one, however in this case I think - rightly so. In some things (religion inclusive) the parents should take initiative, as things like religion will definitely provide a better value upbringing than celebrity magazines or life out on the street.
 
I only ever attend church for weddings or occasional photos etc although I dont class myself as atheist
I am probably like most people where I have no problem with the whole religion thing, I like the idea that there was or is something more but I could not personaly devote my time to something on a belief or faith alone.
That being said, I did feel a little hipocritical when I had to be christened in order to be God Parent to my Neice.
I went through the whole Christening for my Niece & not myself which to me seemed wrong.
I certainly dont think it done me any harm though and I would see no reason why children should not be Christened by there parents if its there wish, even if they are doing it without any real religous conviction.
 
I am not religious and aside from weddings and funerals do not go to church, although I keep meaning to go on Xmas Eve. I did have my son christened a couple of years ago though. Dont forget, Christmas is a religious festival yet we all celebrate it!

I am though in awe of churches. I love the fact that they are often 200-800 years old and to me they have an aura about them. Walking round a graveyard looking at the stones really makes you think. I just think thats in a great celebration of a baby in a traditional way.
 
I maybe didn't explain myself well I do believe in morals and have brought my daughter up with good morals. We have from an early age explained to her why we have made that decision as opposed to "because I said so" or "because my god (insert any religious icon here) says so".

My concern has always been parents who just say don't do this or that without explaining why. (imposing their viewpoint)

Also part of bringing up children is letting them go, by allowing them to go to parties and sleep overs, play in the streets etc. We prepare them better for life.
 
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I guess that for alot of people, Christening their children comes down to tradition, just like the people who want church weddings but don't actually go to church :shrug:

My parents had me christened as a baby, but I don't see the point. It hasn't made the slightest difference to anything in my life! I am not in the slightest bit religious and really don't see the point of christenings, weddings and religious funerals.
 
bartoszwozniak said:
Obviously I am not a father and won't be on the near future, however I feel the exact opposite to that. I feel, that as a father, you should bring your child up using YOUR moral code, and impose YOUR viewpoints on the child. You should guide them in what is right and wrong and you should be making a lot of decisions for them, even if it is against their viewpoint, but you feel that it is the right thing to do. I know that sometimes children will swear at you, abuse you and not like the decision, however if it is better for them in the long run, then it should be carried through with. For example (just a scenario): A 14 year old girl (someones daughter) wants to go to a house party, she is begging to go, because of dancing, fun etc. But the parent knows what it can be like at house parties e.g. alcohol, sex etc. You tell the girl not to go and you make her stay in the house. She will be furious, might cry etc. however you know, that you shielded her from those possible dangers. You are imposing your decision and viewpoint on the young one, however in this case I think - rightly so. In some things (religion inclusive) the parents should take initiative, as things like religion will definitely provide a better value upbringing than celebrity magazines or life out on the street.
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You don't have to be religious (or use religion) to bring a child up well, though. I think I was brought up well (my parents only started to become lenient when I was like 14/15) and there is not a drop of religion in my family.

Bringing a child up using your own moral code is fine but I strongly disagree with the part about imposing your viewpoints on the child.Views are just views, everyone's differ, they are not gospel ('scuse the pun) and should not be forced on anyone. There should be enough freedom given to the child so that they have an ample amount of breathing space and don't just feel like their parents are big bad monsters out to get them, impose every rule possible against them and make their life miserable. A nice balance of 'I am the boss' and freedom is all it takes.
 
trencheel303 said:
You don't have to be religious (or use religion) to bring a child up well, though. I think I was brought up well (my parents only started to become lenient when I was like 14/15) and there is not a drop of religion in my family.

Bringing a child up using your own moral code is fine but I strongly disagree with the part about imposing your viewpoints on the child.Views are just views, everyone's differ, they are not gospel ('scuse the pun) and should not be forced on anyone. There should be enough freedom given to the child so that they have an ample amount of breathing space and don't just feel like their parents are big bad monsters out to get them, impose every rule possible against them and make their life miserable. A nice balance of 'I am the boss' and freedom is all it takes.
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:clap:
 
I know a lot of people down here who have had their kids christened just to get into a particular school.
As somebody else said a lot of it has to do with family tradition too.

:shrug: Personally I don't get it.
I don't have kids, but if I did I can't imagine why I'd ever want to get them christened.
I think the school thing is immoral and I've never been one to hold with family traditions.

If you're genuinely religious, then fine. I may not agree with your beliefs, but you're entitled to them - but doing it for any other reason is just a bit hypocritical in my book.

Having said that, I'm maybe the wrong person to be commenting. I have objections to the whole wedding thing too :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
Been with my OH for 15 years and I don't think I'll ever marry him, much to my family's upset.
 
You may well laugh at me for this but God does move in mysterious ways faith is a very personal thing and just because people dont go to church or confess a faith does not mean that their own quiet way they do not believe in a God
 
Morg - The reason Char & Adam are getting Luke Christened is because its a family tradition in Charlotte's family, nothing to do with getting drunk and collecting gifts. Just because a child is christened doesnt mean they have to grow up worshipping the Lord. I was Christened and im in no way religious, but that was like 25 years ago so opinions im sure were different back then as to why people christened their kids. I asked my mother and she said back then she believed that it helped gain access to heaven...etc etc. Everyone has their own thoughts/opinions/reasons.

Im confused as to why this is a big deal to you?
How has it effected you?
 
Think we also need to remember that going into a church is as likely to make you religious as going the garage will make you into a car.

Dave
 
Once again non believers have to slag off those of us with a faith (Usually Christian as it can be dangerous to slag off some faiths) and rubbish our beliefs,cant you just accept that our views differ from yours that we are harming nobody and that when we die we will find out which of us was right,then and only then will you know if that baptism "Was a waste of time"
 
Once again non believers have to slag off those of us with a faith (Usually Christian as it can be dangerous to slag off some faiths) and rubbish our beliefs,cant you just accept that our views differ from yours that we are harming nobody and that when we die we will find out which of us was right,then and only then will you know if that baptism "Was a waste of time"
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I am glad that there is at least someone who is religious. There is less and less of us now and I don't think that's good. I think that believers and non believers should not argue about faith. I think that opinions like that should be kept and people's views should be more respected.

Besides I am going to mass in 20 mins..
 
bartoszwozniak said:
I am glad that there is at least someone who is religious. There is less and less of us now and I don't think that's good. I think that believers and non believers should not argue about faith. I think that opinions like that should be kept and people's views should be more respected.

Besides I am going to mass in 20 mins..
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I am a Christian too. I think people often have their children baptised because they think it will protect them in some way. Even if people do not have a deep faith many feel that there is someone/ something that has an influence on our lives.Even if children are baptised they still have the chance to decide if they want to be a Christian when they get to adulthood.
 
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