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A stranger was seated next to little Tommy on the plane when the stranger turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it
slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about politics? Should we keep Bush or elect Kerry?"
"OK," Said Little Tommy. "That could be an interesting
topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel
qualified to discuss who should run the country when you don't know $h1t?"
OR
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
Or maybe
Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $2,000 in the collection plate.
This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $2,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need, I give to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"
The old lady said, "Oh, $20,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"
"He's a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's a very honorable profession," the pastor says. "Where does he practice?"
The old lady said proudly, "Well, he has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno"
Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it
slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about politics? Should we keep Bush or elect Kerry?"
"OK," Said Little Tommy. "That could be an interesting
topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel
qualified to discuss who should run the country when you don't know $h1t?"
OR
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
Or maybe
Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $2,000 in the collection plate.
This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $2,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need, I give to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"
The old lady said, "Oh, $20,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"
"He's a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's a very honorable profession," the pastor says. "Where does he practice?"
The old lady said proudly, "Well, he has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno"
