Nun Joke (not for kids!)

minimeeze

minimeeze

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Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He
says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting
you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;"
And *poof* she's gone.


The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof*
she's gone.


The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he ask

"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but
that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and
hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He
hands it back to her and says.

"No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by
1,400 men in 6 months."

If you laugh, you're going straight to hell!
 
Is it warm in here, or is it just me :D
 
Not bad :LOL:

While we're on the subject:

A nun was sitting on a bus with a man in front of her eating a bag of prawns.
He would eat a prawn, then he would throw it's head behind him and hit the nun with it, the nun threw them out the window every time.
The man then turned around and said to the nun "you know you can get fined up to £1000 for littering !"
The nun replied "But when I cry rape and they smell your fingers you'll get 10 years in jail!!!
 
minimeeze said:
"No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by
1,400 men in 6 months."

If you laugh, you're going straight to hell!
Click to expand...

:LOL: Going down :D

spannerdude said:
"But when I cry rape and they smell your fingers you'll get 10 years in jail!!!
Click to expand...

And down................:D

and down.................
2 Nuns in the dark one says wheres the candles? the other says it certaily does ( its in the pronunciation :D)
 
nun goes to confession - 'fesses up to carnal knoweldge
priest says - she's absolved if she says 10 hail Maries and eats 3 lemons
nun says - fair cop - but what's the lemons for?
"to wipe that grin off your face"

sniff - can I smell sulphur? - yup
and it's getting warm
oh - well - play to your strengths!
 
*******Rules of the Convent*******

Lights out by 10 o'clock
Candles out by half past.




I'll keep a seat by the fire for you.....:wave:
 
6 of the 7 dwarves ask Snow White ..... "Are there nuns in the South Pole?"

"No. Why?" replies Snow White.

"Ha ha! Dopey sh**ged a penguin!" Comes the reply!

Anth.
 
Cobra said:

2 Nuns in the dark one says wheres the candles? the other says it certaily does ( its in the pronunciation :D)
Click to expand...

I think its more a case of "it's in the spelling!!" ;)

I knew it as "2 nuns in a bath, one says "where's the soap" and the other said "Yes, it does, doesnt it"!!! (y)
 
Janice said:
I knew it as "2 nuns in a bath, one says "where's the soap" and the other said "Yes, it does, doesnt it"!!! (y)
Click to expand...

I remember when they told that joke on vicar of dibly, the bit at the end where dawn french used to tell the dozy one a joke. Even though I'd heard it a hundred times I burst out laughing at the sheer audacity of the bbc to tell it before the watershed ;)
 
I think thats because such a lot of people still didnt/don't understand it unless it is explained!

I doubt my parents watching that wouldve noticed until it was spelt out to them! LOL
 
Janice said:
I think thats because such a lot of people still didnt/don't understand it unless it is explained!

I doubt my parents watching that wouldve noticed until it was spelt out to them! LOL
Click to expand...

Well I guess I must be thick, naive, too young!!, but I've tried to work it out and can't, anyone wish to help me out, pm me if you like:thinking:
 
Did you know why the 7 Dwarfs use Daz?

Someone told them it would get their smalls to come up snow white!!!



:coat:
 
Janice said:
I think thats because such a lot of people still didnt/don't understand it unless it is explained!

I doubt my parents watching that wouldve noticed until it was spelt out to them! LOL
Click to expand...

Nope, not getting it here either, and I'm usually good with obscure humor. I feel like such an outsider. :|

- CJ
 
cjnicolai...

Where's = where is.
wears = wears down or rubs away.
wears = puts on clothes (not used in this context in this joke).
(These are homophones; words that sound the same but that have different meanings)

Now what could a nun be doing with a bar of soap that could cause it to wear down???



On a slightly different tack...
Q What's the difference between a nun in a bath and a prostitute in a bath?
A The nun has hope in her soul.
 
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