The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Cobra

Mr. Floyd
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Phitt, Hissy Phitt
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A brand new thread to post your jokes & meme's.

I'll start with an old "classic"

a blind man enters a ladies bar by mistake. he finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. after sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

the bar immediately goes silent. in a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says "before you tell that joke, i think its fair, giving that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. the bartender is a blonde girl.
2. the bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. i'm a 6 foot tall, 15 stone blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. the woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5. the lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
now think about it seriously, mister. do you still wanna tell that joke?"

the blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares "nah, not if i'm gonna have to explain it five times!"
 
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Bat-Frog
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2015 Donald Trump running for President? Don’t be ridiculous.

2016 Trump will never win.

2017 President Trump can’t do that, can he?

2018 Are you watching the Hunger Games tonight? I hope my District wins!

2019 Did you barricade all the windows? Don’t forget tonight is The Purge.
 
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Jeff
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O.M.G what have i done !!!!!!! :cobra::runaway::runaway::runaway::runaway:
 

Nod

Krispy and Kremey
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Nod (NOT Ethel!!!)
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Steep

Nutcrack Rapids
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Hugh
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Har har har :D
 

Cg_Girl

Jamie Oliver's best friend.
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T.
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No matter how badly your Friday is going, bear in mind it's not your wedding night with Rupert Murdoch.
Cheers for that!...... I'll continue with my evening of The big bang theory thanks :p
 

simon ess

Just call me Roxanne.
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No matter how badly your Friday is going, bear in mind it's not your wedding night with Rupert Murdoch.
Pass the mind bleach.:eek:
 

Steep

Nutcrack Rapids
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Hugh
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I dunno, viagra and a paper bag..
 

Cg_Girl

Jamie Oliver's best friend.
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T.
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Do we have anything stronger than bleach in the TP store room?
 

Steep

Nutcrack Rapids
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Hugh
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A corset a full body stocking some viagra and a good book?
 

Nod

Krispy and Kremey
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Nod (NOT Ethel!!!)
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Nod

Krispy and Kremey
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Nod (NOT Ethel!!!)
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:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:D:p:p:p
 
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