- Messages
- 2,080
- Edit My Images
- Yes
The blonde woman's head is on the page of a magazine. The person who took the photo thought it was a real woman staring at the person and didn't realise it was a magazine photo until the page was turned.
and please use their services
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
Got it, Cheers.
- Messages
- 2,683
- Name
- Peter
- Edit My Images
- No
Sriracha hot sauce would be better still, and it's the same colour as jam.
It will be dark, so noone will notice until it's too late - just add Wasabi or horseradish for added effect
Nod
Tootles
- Messages
- 45,610
- Name
- Nod (UK)
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Nearly there
View attachment 136149
just gotta finish covering the onions in chocolate
View attachment 136150
Chocolate sprouts sound quite tasty!
Gremlin
Houdini
- Messages
- 17,743
- Name
- Ingrid
- Edit My Images
- No
An elderly married couple scheduled their medical examination on the same day so that they could answer any questions the doctor might have concerning their partner.
After the husband's exam, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly."
The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man. After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old nut", she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"
After the husband's exam, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly."
The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man. After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old nut", she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"
- Messages
- 5,548
- Name
- mike
- Edit My Images
- Yes
There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a really big, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me, so I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, drop the capsule in it, and was sitting here watching the poison dissolve when you show up and drink the whole thing!! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me, so I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, drop the capsule in it, and was sitting here watching the poison dissolve when you show up and drink the whole thing!! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
- Messages
- 949
- Name
- ken
- Edit My Images
- Yes
simon ess
Just call me Roxanne.
- Messages
- 9,605
- Edit My Images
- No
I saw a van today with the worst strap line I've ever seen.
it was a removals company van, modern, clean, well liveried- house clearances and bereavement services a specialty.
Strap line
"We care so you don't have to."
Ouch!
it was a removals company van, modern, clean, well liveried- house clearances and bereavement services a specialty.
Strap line
"We care so you don't have to."
Ouch!
Last edited:
Nod
Tootles
- Messages
- 45,610
- Name
- Nod (UK)
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Some years ago, a mate of mine had an AC Invacar and a Kawasaki Z1300 engine as well as an evil, twisted mind. Not sure if he ever got round to introducing the 2 objects in a carnal manner but can imagine what the offspring would be like!!!
- Messages
- 1,874
- Name
- Tim
- Edit My Images
- Yes
I’d email them and let them know the last word should be 'to'.
- Messages
- 5,335
- Name
- matt
- Edit My Images
- Yes
He looks just like my Father in Law
- Messages
- 949
- Name
- ken
- Edit My Images
- Yes
another unfortunate sign layout.....
- Messages
- 1,849
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 1,849
- Edit My Images
- Yes
