The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[Server Hamster]

 

[kendo1]

From Newsthump:

UK government to quarantine passengers coming into worst affected country in Europe

https://newsthump.com/2020/06/04/uk...-coming-into-worst-affected-country-in-europe

 

[Doc]

 

[Steep]

 

[Cobra]

I'm not convinced these are genuine auto corrects,
but as its the sort of thing my phone does to me,
I still chuckled

 

[Marc]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Cartus]

An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.

There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.
Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.
Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.
It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!

Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!”
“By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?”
His assistant said,"I really couldn't tell, the coffin lid was closed."

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[Marc]

 

[Dave *]

 

[cymruchris]

 

[mex]

Driving past B&Q the other day, I asked the Mrs. how big the queue was. She said " it's quite big and bright orange, a bit like the B".

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Cobra]

And talking of the afore mentioned ..

 

[Earley Man]

Apologies if this has appeared before.

 

[Bobsyeruncle]

View attachment 282005

Don't know, but it would be a sh!tdog....

 

[Marc]

 

[sirch]

I went for a vasectomy yesterday because I didn’t want to have kids any more.

It was unsuccessful though - when I got home, they were still there.

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[mikew]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Steep]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]