The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Billy HAS got a mate!!!

"Johnny," says the teacher, "what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He takes a s***, sir," says Johnny.
"Oh," says the teacher, "and what does your father do for a living?"
"He's a bricklayer," says Johnny.
The teacher thinks, hmm, working class, what else can you expect?
"Bobby," says the teacher, "what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He takes a s***, sir," says Bobby.
"Hmm," says the teacher, "and what does your father do for a living?"
"He's a joiner," says Johnny.
The teacher sees this as confirming his suspicions about the lack of linguistic skills among working class children.
"Freddy," he says. "What does your father do for a living?"
"He's a lawyer, sir" says Freddy.
"And what's the first thing your father does in the morning?"
"He reads The Times, sir," says Freddy.
"Interesting," says the teacher, "and how much time does he spend reading the paper?"
"Not long," says Freddy, "just until he's finished taking a s***."
 
If you say "god" backwards, it sounds like "dog"
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god.jpg
 
More norty language...


badwords.jpg
 
140047606_10158021690818565_1216402102405939033_n.jpg
 
4th.jpg
 
"Tech Support"

Customer
: I have problems printing in red.

Tech Support : Do you have a color printer?

Customer : Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.
 
coffin.jpg
 
balls.jpg
 
"Tech Support"

Customer
: I have problems printing in red.

Tech Support : Do you have a color printer?

Customer : Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.

Reminds me of
Tech support "Now place the disc in the drive"
Pause, door opens, pause, door closes
Customer "OK, what next"
An alternative version Customer "But it's raining outside"
 
clit.jpg
 
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