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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
ancient_mariner
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badlywornroy
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A German guy approaches a ‘lady of the night’
‘I vish to buy sex wit you’
‘Ok’ says the girl, ‘I charge 20 an hour’
‘..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky’.
'No problem’ she replies cautiously, I can do little kinky.
So off they go to the girl’s flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. ‘I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.’ The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. ‘Now you vill get on your hans und knees.’
She duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
‘You vill please blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.’
She finds it odd, but figures it’s harmless (and the guy is paying.)
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energentic german, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say ‘That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?’
‘Ah’, says the german ‘dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique.
‘I vish to buy sex wit you’
‘Ok’ says the girl, ‘I charge 20 an hour’
‘..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky’.
'No problem’ she replies cautiously, I can do little kinky.
So off they go to the girl’s flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. ‘I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.’ The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. ‘Now you vill get on your hans und knees.’
She duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
‘You vill please blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.’
She finds it odd, but figures it’s harmless (and the guy is paying.)
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energentic german, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say ‘That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?’
‘Ah’, says the german ‘dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique.
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But they very much do.. and just as long as no one sticks a knife through that painting of a decrepit old man that's locked away in my attic, this will continue! Mhu huu haa haaaa!
