The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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A man is coming round from an operation on his crown jewels. The Doctor is there and says:
'I've got some good news for you and some bad news, which do you want first?'.
He replies 'Give me the good news first'.
'The good news is we've saved your testicles.'
'Great, what's the bad news?'

'They're under your pillow'.
 
Does face detect detect cyclops faces?
 
I received a text message which read,

You have Won £250 or two tickets to an Elvis Tribute Nite
Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
 
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