The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Pappu:My internet is not working properly..

Officer:Ok, Double click on “My computer”

Pappu:I can’t see ur computer..

Officer:No no.. click on “My computer” on ur computer..

Pappu:How can I click on ur computer from my computer?..

Officer:listen.. There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on ur computer.. Ok. double click on it..

Pappu:what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..???

Officer:Double click on ur computer..

Pappu:On which Icon i’ve to click..

Officer:“My Computer”..

Pappu:…Oh u Idiot…… Tell me where is ur office…I’ll come there and click on ur “Computer.
 
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What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office?
I can clearly see "you're" nuts....
 
A lawyer sees a man eating grass and asks why
"I'm so poor, this is all I can afford"
"Well, come round to my house"
"I happen to be married"
"Bring her as well"
"And four children"
"The more the merrier"
The man replies "I don't know how to begin to thank you"
"That's fine", says the lawyer, "You'll be at home in my place, the lawn hasn't been mown for weeks"
 
A Shopkeeper finds in the Morning that his Plate Glass Window has a small crack up from the bottom.
So he calls in a Glazier who says that he would have to Order a Pane of that size but before he left he drilled a small hole about 3 inches above the end of the crack.
The Shopkeeper asked what that was for and was told that if the crack got any longer it would stop at the hole.

Ah, said the Shopkeeper, now I know what the Wifes Belly Buttons for.
 
An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."
 
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