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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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Nod
Tootles
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- Nod (UK)
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True story...
Our late cat was my parents' before they both passed away. One day, they were having a cuppa with a neighbour when, through the cat-flap, like she owned the place, came their cat, who went straight to the resident cat's bowl, cleaned it out and left. Apparently a near daily visit!
Skyline
Emmet Brickowski
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- Dave
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That’s right. It was a colossal, enormous, gigantic, huge, immense time to be a childA Mammoth one even
Tusk tusk, I have to stop these early human puns.
badlywornroy
I am not macho
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Peppa Pig Jigsaw
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- John
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A lovely woman from the Countryside died. She found herself outside a beautiful garden with splashing fountains and bright flowers; but she was alone and the gate was locked. When St. Peter finally came by, the woman said to him, "This is surely a wonderful place It must be heaven. How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," said the saint. "What word might that be?" "Love." said he. Well , she spelled it all right and was admitted through the Gates of Heaven.
About a year later, St. Peter asked this woman if she would mind guarding the Gates a short while for him. While she was waiting, her husband arrived. "How've you been?" she asked. "Oh, not bad," he said. "I married the pretty nurse who took care of you, and then I won the lottery. I sold our little cottage and bought a lovely mansion. My wife and I traveled 'round the world. Today I was skiing and broke my neck and...and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word."
"What word?"
"Czechoslovakia"
About a year later, St. Peter asked this woman if she would mind guarding the Gates a short while for him. While she was waiting, her husband arrived. "How've you been?" she asked. "Oh, not bad," he said. "I married the pretty nurse who took care of you, and then I won the lottery. I sold our little cottage and bought a lovely mansion. My wife and I traveled 'round the world. Today I was skiing and broke my neck and...and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word."
"What word?"
"Czechoslovakia"
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- Toni
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badlywornroy
I am not macho
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- Roy
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Mrs badly just called downstairs..
'Do you ever get shooting pains across your chest as if someone is sticking pins in a voodoo doll of you?'
'No never had that'
'How about now?'
'Do you ever get shooting pains across your chest as if someone is sticking pins in a voodoo doll of you?'
'No never had that'
'How about now?'
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- Ron
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This is called:
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
I wasn't aware that the acceptable criteria for posting now consisted of "jokes" only, and that amusing videos were now banned.Maybe change the title of the thread
OP
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- The real Chris
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Joke yes, it was a political statement and not funny.
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- Ron
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So the multiple posts in this thread about Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, etc. are "jokes" rather than "political statements" eh?
Hmmmm.......curious
And yet earlier today this "joke" about a cyclist being hit by the driver of a vehicle who is texting doesn't get pulled.
It seems videos poking fun at a totalitarian states are political statements, are "not funny" and are banned...... but posts about British and US politicians are "jokes" as are those about irresponsible motorists who run over cyclists.
OP
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- The real Chris
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You were told to quit, guess what happens when you continue to argue with staff?
