Toilet humour

[Hacker]

If you've got a spare 10 minutes or so and could do with a laugh then have a read of this thread on a mountain biking forum........

Linky

 

[lee]

not even half way through and I'm crying and my jaw aches from smiling/laughing....get back to you in a bit when I'm done reading

 

[dod]

hehe, seen it before but it's worth the read.

 

[theMusicMan]

OMG - what an absolute classic thread - this simply has to be the best thread ever... thanks for posting, I was crying out aloud, my sister-in-law came home (she's staying with us for a few weeks) and rushed up to me after hearing strange laughing noises from my office.

An absolute corker... classic... a must read!

 

[Chuckurbarla]

Go to the toilet before you read this, you won't get halfway through otherwise.

Remove spillable things from your desktop first.

Make sure nobody important is within earshot.

Hacker this is the funniest thing I've seen in years, I'm still mopping up tears and my sides hurt, face aches throat is sore etc etc.

Thanks for posting.

 

[daftbugga]

hacker ,thats superb made my day
now to clean coffee and biccies off keyboard/monitor/walls

 

[rpstewart]

By god I'm glad I'm working from home today. Have been howling out loud for the last 10 minutes and I'm not within sight of the end yet.

Superb stuff but I do feel a bit sorry for the thread starter it's hardly the reassurance he was after.

 

[Yv]

Colin, thats effin brilliant!! Thankyou for really making my day more cheerful

 

[Grendel]

I have got tears running down my thighs I thought we'd had some classic threads on here in the past but that wins hands down

 

[oldgit]

Oooh thats sooo good

 

[Geordi69]

I am pleased I read this in my office and not in the main one. I have not laughed like that for ages. I can imagine people across the country crying with laughter in offices and workplaces with the others that are there not knowing why that person looks like they are having a nervous breakdown!!!:bonk:

So well written.

Thanks Hacker for the link

 

[lee]

Its taken me ages to read with work getting in the way and the need to stop reading due to the tears and the strange looks from others in the office who have the sneaky feeling I'm being a lazy sod and not doing any work.... but that was one of the funniest things I have read. So glad you shared that with us Colin.

 

[Adamski]

Thanks for that Colin

This bit has me in tears

The human bum (to give it it's correct term) is capable of an astounding array of sounds, a whole orchestra of noises, both musical and percussive. But mainly a badly played trombone.

Not Over, because having successfully engaged and defeated the enemy HMS Endoscope was withdrawing from active service.

And at the very instant it was decomissioned (accompanied by facial expression suggesting you have suddenly achieved X-Ray vision) the commencement of it's passing out parade was signalled with a 20 bum salute from the "tail guns" of the badly holed HMS Blu-tone.


Later followed by a selection of marching tunes keeping strict tempo with the defeated ships company as I retreated to the recovery room. Each step triggered off a postern blast heard across the free world.
Imagine a creaky bottom bracket, which issues forth each revolution, now substitute the creak for the sound of your best ever fart, multiply by 10. Now we're getting close.

 

[spencer]

I am crying with laughter at the moment!
Brilliant!

 

[minimeeze]

That has got to be the funniest thing I've ever read. Just had burnt food for tea because of this thread

 

[magpieant]

That is absolutely brilliant.

It made my day.

No, in fact it made my hole weak! (Think about it ).

Anth

 

[Chillimonster]

fantastic

 

[Slapo]

I almost died reading that, tears of laughter in my eyes.

 

[digitalfailure]

I remember reading that as it was unfolding....or inflating

Still had to read it again and it's had the same effect,

 

[Venomator]

Saddo moi ... ... read it AFTER BLOODY WORK ... :annoyed::annoyed::annoyed:


Classic ... ... and fit only for the toilet ...

 

[Seppi3]

Excellent stuff!!!

Still drying my tears. Laughing out Loud!!

Dont want to laugh, as I could be next. Will not be taking my camera with me that day. If I could write text and create suspense like that, I would not be trying, to be creative with my camera, I would be earning a fortune in popular fiction (or should that be factual account of a mans misfortune).

 

[Seppi3]

Just a thought!!

Is reading in the toilet considered as "multi-tasking"

 

[alex1]

Hillarious

 

[birdy961]

I have not laughed like that for a long time, had to go and sit in the car to calm down!

 

[Wile E. coyote]

Classic thread

 

[digitalfailure]

Picolax.........sounds like a forum

 

[minimeeze]

Picolax.........sounds like a forum

:nono:

 

[Grendel]

Picolax.........sounds like a forum

pmsl

 

[digitalfailure]

[s4] well......tell me you didn't think it too[/s4]

 

[Grendel]

[S2]Oh I did[/S2]

 

[Steep]

Very good!

 

[Marcel]

Picolax.........sounds like a forum

Hahaha

I managed to read half of it thinking "Yeah, this is funny, but not *that* funny" until I got to the bit that Adamski mentioned, when they "Withdrew" the inflator...

Tears streaming down my face and my 3yr old son asking what daddy is laughing at.....

Like someone said in that thread, and as much as I hate to admit it....toilet humour IS the funniest.

 

[antonroland]

It has all been said above already!

Thanks for finding and sharing this one Colin!!

 

[inaneredstripe]

toilet humour. finaly , a man after my own heart. its my birthday tommorow and my daughter insisted on giving me my pressy tonite. a book . title. a year on the bog by andy mcbean. extremely unsubtle and very funny. the guy has actualy documented , and timed every loo visit for a year.in some very odd and interesting places .