OMG - what an absolute classic thread - this simply has to be the best thread ever... thanks for posting, I was crying out aloud, my sister-in-law came home (she's staying with us for a few weeks) and rushed up to me after hearing strange laughing noises from my office.
I am pleased I read this in my office and not in the main one. I have not laughed like that for ages. I can imagine people across the country crying with laughter in offices and workplaces with the others that are there not knowing why that person looks like they are having a nervous breakdown!!!:bonk:
Its taken me ages to read with work getting in the way and the need to stop reading due to the tears and the strange looks from others in the office who have the sneaky feeling I'm being a lazy sod and not doing any work.... but that was one of the funniest things I have read. So glad you shared that with us Colin.
The human bum (to give it it's correct term) is capable of an astounding array of sounds, a whole orchestra of noises, both musical and percussive. But mainly a badly played trombone.
Not Over, because having successfully engaged and defeated the enemy HMS Endoscope was withdrawing from active service.
And at the very instant it was decomissioned (accompanied by facial expression suggesting you have suddenly achieved X-Ray vision) the commencement of it's passing out parade was signalled with a 20 bum salute from the "tail guns" of the badly holed HMS Blu-tone.
Later followed by a selection of marching tunes keeping strict tempo with the defeated ships company as I retreated to the recovery room. Each step triggered off a postern blast heard across the free world.
Imagine a creaky bottom bracket, which issues forth each revolution, now substitute the creak for the sound of your best ever fart, multiply by 10. Now we're getting close.
Dont want to laugh, as I could be next. Will not be taking my camera with me that day. If I could write text and create suspense like that, I would not be trying, to be creative with my camera, I would be earning a fortune in popular fiction (or should that be factual account of a mans misfortune).
I managed to read half of it thinking "Yeah, this is funny, but not *that* funny" until I got to the bit that Adamski mentioned, when they "Withdrew" the inflator...
Tears streaming down my face and my 3yr old son asking what daddy is laughing at.....
Like someone said in that thread, and as much as I hate to admit it....toilet humour IS the funniest.
toilet humour. finaly , a man after my own heart. its my birthday tommorow and my daughter insisted on giving me my pressy tonite. a book . title. a year on the bog by andy mcbean. extremely unsubtle and very funny. the guy has actualy documented , and timed every loo visit for a year.in some very odd and interesting places .
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