TOP 10 reasons god created EVE!

[jewel]

Figured you lot would like this,lol can't remember if it was posted before or not? Anyways.........


10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the
garden
because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and
hand him
the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf
when
his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist or
haircut
appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage
on
the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able
to
handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he
left
his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God
caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched
his
head and said, "I can do better than that."


Muuaaahhhhh.

 

[kamion]

God went down to Eden to see how Adam was getting on.
"What do you think of life Adam"said God."Well"said Adam"It's quite hard work and a little boring and,well,just a little lonely too".
"Don't worry"declared God"I've been working on a solution to all these problems.I'm going to create a Woman.She'll wash and cook for you and she'll have sex with you whenever you want.Infact she'll do everything you can imagine".
"That sounds great" said Adam"but how much will this Woman cost me?"
"I was thinking an arm and a leg" answered God
"That sounds a bit steep what can I get for a rib"

-----------------------------------------

GOD created Adam, and was pleased. Adam, on the other hand, got a little bored. So GOD, in His infinite wisdom, created Eve, and called to Adam.
"Adam," said GOD, "I saw that you needed some company, and so I created Woman, and named her Eve." "God", said Adam, "what is Woman?" "Well, Adam, she is a companion for you," the Lord replied. "But what do I do with her?", Adam asked. "Well," said GOD, "First you should kiss her!" "God?" asked Adam. "What is a KISS??" "Well," said GOD, "You go up to Eve, pucker up your lips, and give a little smack." "Okay," said Adam. And he went off.

Soon he came back, smiling. "God," he said, that was good!" "Now," said GOD, "I want you to HUG Eve." "God?" asked Adam. "What is a HUG??" "Well," said GOD, "You go up to Eve, put your arms around her and give her a little squeeze." "Okay," said Adam. And he went off. Soon he came back, smiling even more. "God," he said, that was GOOD!"

"Now," said GOD, "I want you to MAKE OUT with Eve." "God?" asked Adam. "What is a MAKING OUT??" "Well," said GOD, "You go up to Eve and give her LOTS of hugs and kisses." "Okay," said Adam. And he went off. Soon he came back, smiling even MORE. "God," he said, that was GREAT!"

"Now," said GOD, "I want you to MAKE LOVE to Eve." "God?" asked Adam. "What is a MAKING LOVE??" "Well," said GOD, and he explained this to Adam. "Okay," said Adam. And he went off.

Soon he came back, "God?" asked Adam. "What is a HEADACHE???"

-------------------------------------------

Take that!

 

[minimeeze]

 

[GfK]

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the
garden
because he would not ask for directions.

And just who would he ask?

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and
hand him
the remote.

TV hadn't been invented.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf
when
his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

There was no money, or shops. If there'd been a shop it would have been Adams', but then that's baby clothes.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist or
haircut
appointment for himself.

If he was created by God then why would he ever become ill?

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage
on
the curb.

That's cool because being the only human, nobody is coming to collect it anyway.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able
to
handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

Couldn't God just make some more people?

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he
left
his tools.

He'd build a shed out of..... er..... sticks. Yes, that's it. Sticks.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God
caught him hiding in the garden.

Playing 'hide and seek' with The Almighty is probably a bit one-sided.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

The Bible also makes claims of turning water into wine, walking on water and feeding armies of people with a bit of cod and some Hovis(tm). Go figure.

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched
his
head and said, "I can do better than that."

...but he gave up trying when he created woman. And we've had to put up with 'em ever since.

 

[minimeeze]

You always get one

 

[HIMUPNORTH]

Apologies in advance for this rather crude one:


About a month after God created Adam and Eve, he decides to stop by the Garden to see how they are doing. He comes upon Adam and asks "How are thing going with you and Eve."

Adam replies, "Well, everything was going just great until a few days ago. Then Eve started getting moody and cranky. She hasn't been very cooperative and neither of us understands why. Now this morning she woke up to find blood all over her legs."

God asks "Where is Eve? I need to talk to her."

Adam replies "She went down to the river to get cleaned up."

God replies "Oh no! I'll never get that smell out of the fish."

 

[Catdaddy]

Hahahahahaha!

On a similar note, why is it that women seem to think that it is THEM that suffer from PMS? I mean, it's us men that are made to suffer, you know!

 

[kamion]

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I can do better than that."

...but he gave up trying when he created woman. And we've had to put up with 'em ever since.