Warning Bears

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The Pennsylvania Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.
They also advise you to carry pepper spray, in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.
People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.
Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.
 
I'll try this one then: A Bear on the Roof
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
 
:D
 
:LOL:
 
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