What excuse to use

[kelack]

Right friends of mine have asked me to do their wedding next year, so far I've used the following excuses: (me in blue, them in green)

I'm not experienced enough and don't want the responsibility - we've seen your couple of weddings as a second and want you

But I'll be too expensive for you (trying to price myself out of their budget so they'd have to say no not because I think I'm worth it) - that's okay, we'll pay whatever you want

I'll be too drunk - cool, that will make for better photos

I can only really do wildlife and sports - well there'll be plenty of wildlife at the wedding and we'll stick our football kit on for you

I don't want to do it - yes you do, course you do - no, I really, really don't - well, you're not our friend if you won't do it

:bang::bang::bang:



I think they might be getting the picture but once we'd finished the conversation we talked about something else and a couple of hours later it was, so you'll do our wedding then

 

[mattyh]

I'm not coming to the wedding?

Pretty definitive

More seriously, you could refer them to a different tog who you know is good, and tell them you wouldn't be comfortable doing it yourself as you wouldn't be there "with" them to celebrate?

 

[suze23]

just do it!!!

if they are happy with your photos then thats upto them

i can understand if you had only been doing t for 4 months and were like me (i turned one down as theres no way in he11 i could do one now)..... but do it!!!

 

[Yv]

Or get another tog that will have you shoot as a second....then everyone gets what they want

 

[CGeezer]

it's another arrow in your hat.. err I mean feather in your bow.. Something like that

 

[mrtoad]

ok i will do it but you'll be sorry
well we wont pay you then

 

[18%grey]

I had the same thing happen when my best friend got married 4 years ago, he insisted that I was going to do the photography.
For months I did everything to get out of it. I'd given up photography 10 years earlier and sold all my gear. The fact I had no equipment to use did not deter him. In the end, 3 days before the wedding I went out and bought digital equipment and had a couple of sleepless nights with instruction manuals.
As it turned out the day went brilliant, I was given a list of must have shots and when I had them in the bag I was able to relax. I was more nervous of the fact I was using new equipment that I had not had time to try and test properly.
I suppose sometimes for friends we just have to go out on a limb. Good Luck.

 

[Fuuudge]

no, I really, really don't - well, you're not our friend if you won't do it

And they sound like excellent friends, pressuring you to do something you don't want to, sounds pretty selfish to me


Last resort, break all your fingers so you can't operate the camera

 

[Metal God]

Just tell them straight that you are not doing it.

My brothers and a coupla friends tried to get me to do their weddings. I just said no, I didn't want to do it - full stop, problem sorted.

 

[SarahLee]

:shrug: How about the truth?

"You're my friends. I'm looking forward to sharing your big day with you and I'd really like to be able to enjoy it as a guest rather than running around stressing over your photos."

 

[JerryL]

I can't comment on your photography style or your talent, so I won't.

BUT - If your heart is not in this possible assignment then this may also be reflected in your work. The happy couple will want treasured memories and to look back on the photo's, so if the end result is not good, you will feel bad and they will regret asking you.

As other posters have said, if you don't want to do it then don't.

 

[The Matt]

If "don't want to" doesn't cut it ther's always "I'm already booked for another wedding"

 

[Cobra]

Just do it Christine and if you should happen to screw up ( I am sure you won't)
Then they will just have to get another tog for the re-run

Edit Sorry Kel

 

[andrewc]

Tell them your friendship is worth more than a set of photos and you want to enjoy their wedding as a guest rather than as an employee.

Tell them to get someone else, even recommend people.

 

[Dudie]

Do it and do a ***** job. That'll teach 'em.

 

[Marc]

Just do it Christine and if you should happen to screw up ( I am sure you won't)
Then they will just have to get another tog for the re-run

 

[Cobra]

PMSL

Ok Ok I know
that'll teach me to be on MSN and answer posts at the same time
lol

 

[neil_g]

quote them an extortionate price..

 

[MisterE]

There was the case in the not too distant past where the B&G were so disappointed with their friend's photos, they not only fell out with him, they sued him. Probably in America.

 

[Deleted member 11790]

what about declaring your undying love for one of them, telling them it would be too emotional to watch them marry someone else ???

could work ???

 

[hypnotic]

Just wait until a few days before the wedding and tell them your camera is broken. No time to get it fixed.

 

[mr_pants]

You know deep down inside that you want to do it really

 

[Myky D]

It sounds like you want to do it but are being falsley modest to cover your insecurity about producing bad pics.

 

[POAH]

tell them they are too ugly to be photographed by your camera.

 

[AliB]

Show them this Best article I've read on the subject.

http://www.seattlebridemag.com/ME2/Audiences/dirmod.asp?sid=&nm=&type=Publishing&mod=Publications::Article&mid=8F3A7027421841978F18BE895F87F791&tier=4&id=4BFD6D878E9541A0BA4ECDFFB23704C9&AudID=2A616914A2194119BFE70CB02436B2F6

 

[kelack]

Sorry folks, got a bit manic at work and then didn't manage to get online after work

Ah but I want to go to the wedding! I was actually round their house last night and they are now accepting I don't want to do it

Or get another tog that will have you shoot as a second....then everyone gets what they want

Don't want to shoot as a second for this one, want to enjoy getting drunk

ok i will do it but you'll be sorry
well we wont pay you then

 

[kelack]

And they sound like excellent friends, pressuring you to do something you don't want to, sounds pretty selfish to me


Last resort, break all your fingers so you can't operate the camera

it was all quite tongue in cheek - the pressure that is but I think breaking my fingers would be a bit extreme

:shrug: How about the truth?

"You're my friends. I'm looking forward to sharing your big day with you and I'd really like to be able to enjoy it as a guest rather than running around stressing over your photos."

Yeah, yeah - truth didn't work!! lol

If "don't want to" doesn't cut it ther's always "I'm already booked for another wedding"

But I'm going to theirs so they'd be miffed lol

Just do it Christine and if you should happen to screw up ( I am sure you won't)
Then they will just have to get another tog for the re-run

Edit Sorry Kel

trouble time!!

what about declaring your undying love for one of them, telling them it would be too emotional to watch them marry someone else ???

could work ???

Excellent, me and the bride have already said we're going to run off together and leave her fiance with the baby! tee hee hee

You know deep down inside that you want to do it really

Not this one I don't

 

[kelack]

It sounds like you want to do it but are being falsley modest to cover your insecurity about producing bad pics.

Nope, not at all, I don't want to do it and there's no modesty at all. I'm happy with my wildlife and sport and the very very occasional second at a wedding

tell them they are too ugly to be photographed by your camera.

Superb - going to text them that

Show them this Best article I've read on the subject.

http://www.seattlebridemag.com/ME2/Audiences/dirmod.asp?sid=&nm=&type=Publishing&mod=Publications::Article&mid=8F3A7027421841978F18BE895F87F791&tier=4&id=4BFD6D878E9541A0BA4ECDFFB23704C9&AudID=2A616914A2194119BFE70CB02436B2F6

Thanks Ali, will have a gander at that later


Thanks all for your replies, sorry I left it so late to respond and haven't answered you all individually.

 

[Harvey_nikon]

You've slept with the groom and taking photos would bring back painful memories?

You aren't really a photographer, you just bought the kit to pull chicks?

 

[kelack]

Lol!!! I think she might beat me if I said that I'd slept with the groom!!

And pulling chicks.....nah, think my husband would like that but it's not the reason!!!

 

[Harvey_nikon]

Lol!!! I think she might beat me if I said that I'd slept with the groom!!

And pulling chicks.....nah, think my husband would like that but it's not the reason!!!

lol, I wrote it thinking you were a guy, edited bride to groom in the first when I checked but obviously forgot that bit

 

[Myky D]

Nope, not at all, I don't want to do it and there's no modesty at all. I'm happy with my wildlife and sport and the very very occasional second at a wedding

Then simply telling them firmly that you don't want to do it is enough. If they kept harassing you, you would have repeated so and asked them not to.

 

[kelack]

lol, I wrote it thinking you were a guy, edited bride to groom in the first when I checked but obviously forgot that bit

ha ha ha

Then simply telling them firmly that you don't want to do it is enough. If they kept harassing you, you would have repeated so and asked them not to.

I wouldn't call it harrassment, more friendly abuse

 

[BarryDawsib]

ha ha ha

I wouldn't call it harrassment, more friendly abuse

Its intresting they said they would pay you what ever you want but not a proper full time photographer

One of my best mates, even though they have no dates to get married (prolonged engagement) ever time I talk to his lass I get the same flipping question.

The Answer Is NO, for once I want to get ****ed and sleep with all the bridesmaids!
or any other women there that would take me

 

[Marc]

The Answer Is NO, for once I want to get ****ed and sleep with all the bridesmaids!
or any other women there that would take me

What, you can't do that as the photographer?

*cancels plans to become wedding tog*

 

[kelack]

Its intresting they said they would pay you what ever you want but not a proper full time photographer

One of my best mates, even though they have no dates to get married (prolonged engagement) ever time I talk to his lass I get the same flipping question.

The Answer Is NO, for once I want to get ****ed and sleep with all the bridesmaids!
or any other women there that would take me

Ah, they never said that they wouldn't pay a proper full time photographer, just that they would rather I did it.

What, you can't do that as the photographer?

*cancels plans to become wedding tog*

 

[Cobra]

trouble time!!

lol, I wrote it thinking you were a guy,

And I'm in trouble?
LOL

 

[Harvey_nikon]

And I'm in trouble?
LOL

I just don't take any notice of people's names etc

 

[Wobbler]

Out of interest, why don't you want to do it?