- Messages
- 17
- Name
- Alan
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Good afternoon all, my apologies for not being online for so long, but I've been in a rather dark place, over the years, I've taken a lot of hits, phsically and mentally, I lost my right leg when aged just 25, more things happened as I got older, 11 years ago, I had a fall at work, wrecking my back and ending my working life. October 2016, I had two seizures in two days, resulting in having lost my memory from 1984 to early 2017, on top of this, I'm suffering from anterograde and retrograde amnesia, so things I do in the future, could vanish from my brain, as soon as I've done them.
Since then, I've split from my partner, been robbed and assaulted with more damage to my back and the arthritis I inherited from my mother is marching into every part of my body. A week gone Monday, I had to attend a pain clinic, I had scans and x-rays, then was sent home. This morning, I had my second appointment at the pain clinic and the news wasn't good, in fact it was utter sh!t, The arthritis, is indeed on the march, getting further into my back, joints and worse, the hands, I have been dropping things recently and my hands aren't behaving as good as they were, at first, the specialists thought I may have Lupus, but I've been diagnosed as having fibromyalgia. I must have been a right barsteward in a previous life to get all this. My medications are under review, it's 99% certain that I'll be going onto opiod based meds and the doctor tells me I'm in trouble. Inside 2 years, I'll be a wheelchair user, will have to give up my hobbies and life will not be pleasant. Since the beginning of the year, I've noticed that I'm having to think about what I'm doing instead of doing things naturally and without any doubt, I'm constantly second guessing myself and having to convice myself into what I have to do, instead of it being a nautural reflex.
Currently, I enjoy cycling, shooting, walking, fishing and generally being outdoors, all of this is going to go, as I'm a very dextrous chap, I make my own fishing flies, load my own rifle ammunition, cook and adore using my camera equipment. Based on the diagnosis, I've decided to call it a day, I'm selling everything, guns, bikes, motorbike, fishing tackle and camera equipment, the lot.
I'm sorry for announcing this on here, but I'm fed up and needed to have a rant, I've resigned myself to the fact my life is going to change dramatically and as the days and weeks move on, I'll slowly notice the changes.
I think I'll go and have a lay on the bed and have a good weep.
Alan.
Since then, I've split from my partner, been robbed and assaulted with more damage to my back and the arthritis I inherited from my mother is marching into every part of my body. A week gone Monday, I had to attend a pain clinic, I had scans and x-rays, then was sent home. This morning, I had my second appointment at the pain clinic and the news wasn't good, in fact it was utter sh!t, The arthritis, is indeed on the march, getting further into my back, joints and worse, the hands, I have been dropping things recently and my hands aren't behaving as good as they were, at first, the specialists thought I may have Lupus, but I've been diagnosed as having fibromyalgia. I must have been a right barsteward in a previous life to get all this. My medications are under review, it's 99% certain that I'll be going onto opiod based meds and the doctor tells me I'm in trouble. Inside 2 years, I'll be a wheelchair user, will have to give up my hobbies and life will not be pleasant. Since the beginning of the year, I've noticed that I'm having to think about what I'm doing instead of doing things naturally and without any doubt, I'm constantly second guessing myself and having to convice myself into what I have to do, instead of it being a nautural reflex.
Currently, I enjoy cycling, shooting, walking, fishing and generally being outdoors, all of this is going to go, as I'm a very dextrous chap, I make my own fishing flies, load my own rifle ammunition, cook and adore using my camera equipment. Based on the diagnosis, I've decided to call it a day, I'm selling everything, guns, bikes, motorbike, fishing tackle and camera equipment, the lot.
I'm sorry for announcing this on here, but I'm fed up and needed to have a rant, I've resigned myself to the fact my life is going to change dramatically and as the days and weeks move on, I'll slowly notice the changes.
I think I'll go and have a lay on the bed and have a good weep.
Alan.
