The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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LOL - missed the boat... that was Boris and his tribe
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- Christopher
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Unfortunately, this is far to close to the truth to be considered anything but a factual record.
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- Christopher
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There's not enough voltage in a car battery to give a really good warning. Connect the 230 volt live to two of the screws and the neutral to the other two. Make sure you put a 30 milliamp RCD in both live circuits to prevent death or injury and ear plugs in both your ears to prevent damage to your eardrums from the screams.
WARNING THE ABOVE REPLY IS WRITTEN IN JEST AND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD SUCH A PROCEDURE BE UNDERTAKEN.
Tringa
Numpty of the Day'
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I can relate to a lot of this -
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Dave
15K views · 156 reactions | On getting older... See more from this top stand-up at Reading Town Hall, next week! Simon Evans: Staring At The Sun Reading Town Hall | Sat 5 September 2026, 7.30pm Book: https://whatsonreading.com/simon-evans-2026 | Read
On getting older... See more from this top stand-up at Reading Town Hall, next week! Simon Evans: Staring At The Sun Reading Town Hall | Sat 5 September 2026, 7.30pm Book:...
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Dave
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A car full of Irish Nuns are waiting at the traffic lights in Downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside them.
"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" yells one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculator and says "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross"
Sister Immaculator rolls down her window and shouts
"p*** off, ya fookin' little w******s, before I come over there and rip your bleedin' balls off"
"Sister Immaculator then rolls up her window, looks at Mother Superior quite innocently and says
"Did that sound cross enough?"
"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" yells one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculator and says "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross"
Sister Immaculator rolls down her window and shouts
"p*** off, ya fookin' little w******s, before I come over there and rip your bleedin' balls off"
"Sister Immaculator then rolls up her window, looks at Mother Superior quite innocently and says
"Did that sound cross enough?"
