Another 365 thread...

[sakura]

Pete - you're getting too worked up - go and have a big piece of cake or treat yourself to nice new hat and stop worrying

 

[Dangleman]

Monday 28th July

.... All because I wanted to go to the cinema...

Let me guess - you wanted to see Batman and she(?) wanted to watch Mama Mia.

Loving that last shot by the way fella.

 

[petemc]

There's no she. Just someone I should be able to rely on. I need a holiday. Currently in a bar having a sit down and a break. No fast food 2 second lunch today. New game tomorrow, beat em up, so that's my treat. Unless I crack and buy a new hat

 

[Dangleman]

There's no she. Just someone I should be able to rely on. I need a holiday. Currently in a bar having a sit down and a break. No fast food 2 second lunch today. New game tomorrow, beat em up, so that's my treat. Unless I crack and buy a new hat

Soul Calibur IV by any chance?? Not played SoulCalibur since the first one on Dreamcast, used to love that.

Maybe a woman is what you need fella (reading back through your thread), or am I stating the obvious . Depression is a total C*** and I'm one of those who can speak from experience. Try adding chronic panic disorder/ anxiety into the equation as well, though I've had that nailed for the last 5-10 years (touch wood). I guess I'm just trying to say you're not alone when you feel s***, though I know that doesn't really help, at all.

Depression is scarily common when you look into it as you no doubt know. My best friend, who is one of the best, and funniest blokes you'lll ever meet, has basically broken recently. He's had a full on breakdown to use the old vernacular. And it's ultimately been caused by a woman, so maybe my first suggestion isn't the best come to think of it

 

[foodpoison]

I'll tell you what you need.
You need Battlefield Bad Company.

There is nothing more satisfying than blowing a whole in the side of a building, running through, blowing another whole, jumping out, rather than going through the door and/or the side alley

 

[AliB]

Hey Pete, I've just sat and read this from end to end (I like doing that with the 365's) and this is brilliant. I can see the point where you are teetering about telling us of your depression and I can see the angst it causes you. I can see folks reaction to that too.

Some of the most brilliant and artistic and funny people throughout time have suffered from depression. Peter Sellers famously so. Stephen Fry did a brilliant documentary about bipolar disorder last year.

The thing about depression is that we can only ever see the world through our own eyes. We may have the empathy to try to understand others but ultimately it's our own view that will always be the most relevent to us.

What you have done though in allowing us to understand you better is that you have added another dimension to your photos, your work and your life.

Thank you for sharing it with us. I feel truly humbled by some of you!

 

[Ian T]

I had a discussion with some random crew guy who moaned about the culture year not offering enough for locals, to which I said that I've seen plenty and our book has documented plenty of it. But no, according to him and his mate there was nothing. After I went for a Starbucks and a drive round Toxteth which is such a culture shock compared to Liverpool city center.

But maybe that's the problem - all the attention is focused on the city centre. There's all this great effort to market Liverpool as a cultural city and invest money, but all we see is colourful news articles raving about the latest event/festival/concert at the Echo arena/etc.

I think there's far more culture in the suburbs. Like when you go into a small independent local shop, a newsagent or something, and there's a bit of banter with the shopkeeper, etc - to me, that's the real culture. It's the people on the street, the stuff that was there last year and will be next year.

Perhaps it's why I see little significance in the whole Capital of Culture thing (aside from the fact that the signs everywhere are misleading, proclaiming Liverpool as the sole Capital of Culture 2008, which as we know is not the case).

CoC just seems so manufactured to me. It's a big marketing exercise. I think that for every culture-related photo opportunity in the town centre, there are a thousand in nameless streets of every day people doing every day things - people and things that perhaps define culture at a grassroots level.

I don't know if or how that's relevant here, but it's just what I'm thinking at the moment.

However, I do agree - the city is putting on lots for people this year. Maybe the film crew picked the wrong day...

 

[petemc]

Soul Calibur IV by any chance?? Not played SoulCalibur since the first one on Dreamcast, used to love that.

Exactly that. I had 1 & 2 and loved them. I've just got my DC out to have a few games of the classics.

Maybe a woman is what you need fella (reading back through your thread), or am I stating the obvious .

I tried getting a woman once. Not again. Too many people died.

Depression is scarily common when you look into it as you no doubt know. My best friend, who is one of the best, and funniest blokes you'lll ever meet, has basically broken recently. He's had a full on breakdown to use the old vernacular. And it's ultimately been caused by a woman, so maybe my first suggestion isn't the best come to think of it

Yer it took me a long time to realise I even had it. "Nah I can't be depressed. I have nothing to be sad about, and I'm not sad." Its a lot more than just feeling down one day because your Daddy didn't buy you that pony

I'll tell you what you need.
You need Battlefield Bad Company.

There is nothing more satisfying than blowing a whole in the side of a building, running through, blowing another whole, jumping out, rather than going through the door and/or the side alley

I used to put Q3 on, frag limit to 100 and load up some bots on dm6. Its a great way of venting. Mindless killing ftw.

Hey Pete, I've just sat and read this from end to end (I like doing that with the 365's) and this is brilliant. I can see the point where you are teetering about telling us of your depression and I can see the angst it causes you. I can see folks reaction to that too.

Thanks I've decided that I'm not going to go into depth on some things, and that I'll keep any 3rd parties anonymous because while I might be ok with things I understand that not everyone is.

Some of the most brilliant and artistic and funny people throughout time have suffered from depression. Peter Sellers famously so. Stephen Fry did a brilliant documentary about bipolar disorder last year.

I saw that and its one of the things that made me wake up. I saw the interview with Robbie and I was like "Huh, thats me. But I'm prettier." The way he said he can go on stage and perform in front of thousands and 5 minutes later just want to curl up in bed.

"I was sad that my career went upwards and my self-esteem went downwards," Robbie told the BBC programme.

I realised the same thing earlier this year. This has been my biggest year ever with so many great things and yet I don't truely feel it. But then of course, and like Robbie, the other side to me appears to be an egotisitical cock as I'm sure many people here would agree

Thank you for sharing it with us. I feel truly humbled by some of you!

Thank you for making it seem worthwhile

But maybe that's the problem - all the attention is focused on the city centre. There's all this great effort to market Liverpool as a cultural city and invest money, but all we see is colourful news articles raving about the latest event/festival/concert at the Echo arena/etc.

Well thats true but it would be silly to build the arena in say Childwall. Its a city centre and as such it will attract more things than other places.

I think there's far more culture in the suburbs. Like when you go into a small independent local shop, a newsagent or something, and there's a bit of banter with the shopkeeper, etc - to me, that's the real culture. It's the people on the street, the stuff that was there last year and will be next year.

And there in lies the problem. Is that culture or culture? Thats just life in Liverpool though. The culture year is a celebration of art and music, not specifically the shop keepers in random town. But personally I still disagree with what this guy said. I live 30 mins away from the city centre. I have to travel in nearly every day and I have seen many events that are for the people of Liverpool. There's one tomorrow, two on Saturday and I think another on Sunday. I saw one in Southport last weekend and there was also one in St Helens too. There are events in Garston, Edge Hill train station and all sorts. I think the book we're doing will show that its not just the city centre and that it has been for all people.

Perhaps it's why I see little significance in the whole Capital of Culture thing (aside from the fact that the signs everywhere are misleading, proclaiming Liverpool as the sole Capital of Culture 2008, which as we know is not the case).

Not seen signs that explicitly say that.

CoC just seems so manufactured to me. It's a big marketing exercise. I think that for every culture-related photo opportunity in the town centre, there are a thousand in nameless streets of every day people doing every day things - people and things that perhaps define culture at a grassroots level.

If they would let me know then I would document them but its just a huge thing to do. 6 of us are trying to document Merseyside and we just don't hear about all the little things which is a shame. If we do we will be there to document them. www.3662008.co.uk.

 

[andrewc]

cultures are things bio-scientists grow in petri dishes.

 

[Ian T]

But is the book documenting culture (everyday life) in Liverpool, or the celebration of the Capital of Culture award (special events)?

I just think perhaps there's room for a project that this year looks at everything going on in Liverpool that hasn't been affected by the award, i.e. the culture that has always been here, and which traditionally has made Liverpool a 'cultural' city.

 

[petemc]

But is the book documenting culture (everyday life) in Liverpool, or the celebration of the Capital of Culture award (special events)?

I just think perhaps there's room for a project that this year looks at everything going on in Liverpool that hasn't been affected by the award, i.e. the culture that has always been here, and which traditionally has made Liverpool a 'cultural' city.

We're documenting Liverpool (Merseyside) during 2008. Everything and anything. In 2009 we will have a book that shows Liverpool during 2008. The Capital of Culture isn't just confined to Liverpool. It stretches out to St Helens, Knowsley, Southport and Wirral too. We're covering things there.

 

[foodpoison]

Look forward to your next update Pete

 

[petemc]

Thursday 31st July

Not a bad day really. I had to go out and photograph the new Pizza Express in Liverpool. One of the strange requests was that they needed photos of the toilets. They wanted a visual record of the interior. So I mentioned this to the manager, she was ok with it. Off I went. I turn around to be greeted by another woman who wonders why I'm in the toilets with a camera and tripod. I explained, she was cool about it and I carried on. I did get some odd looks from the visitors when I left. Thankfully no-one came in while I was there. After I treated myself to a real burger and a sit down. Instead of going to McDonalds for a 5 minute break I went to Circo at Albert Dock for a good 2 hour sit down. The burger was really nice, but the chocolate ice-cream had a random green pepper in and completely ruined it. Still, I was happy to find half decent food at Albert Dock.

Friday 1st August

'Are you happy?' When I took this I was. I've only ever been to the cinema with mates and the idea of going alone seemed strange, even though I hate people who talk in there. It just seemed like I was one of those people who had no-one to go there with, so I didn't. The new Batman film was out and it required me to shrug off that silly notion. One of the great things about being freelance is that if work is too much I can go off and have a break. So I did. I went off for the 11:15am showing and it was almost empty. Just perfect, well they had no coke but hey. Loved the film and after I loved the fact that I could chill out in the cinema's cafe rather than just head home. After I went into town and bought Ninja Gaiden 2 as it was on offer. I walked back up Duke Street and saw this and thought "Ya know, I am." Naturally by the time I went to the evening event in Newsham Park to photograph I wasn't because I was stuck in the crowd unable to get photos but at least I was.

Saturday 2nd August

Carnival! Another long day. Started around 12pm with the Brouhaha street parade which ended in Princes Park with an afternoon of performances till around 5:30. I came home for tea and then off out again to see another carnival right through town. I never normally use flash but as it was going to be dusk I figured I'd take it. I'm really glad I did. I got home around 11:30. Nearly a 12hr day.

Sunday 3rd August

The sun sets over Thursaston and the River Dee. To the left you can just about see some of Wales. Its a really peaceful place Thursaston. Great to sit and take stock of your life as the sunsets. Funnily enough since becoming a photographer I haven't been back here to photograph, despite how stunning it is and despite always going there since I was a kid. I couldn't see Shore Cottage though. Its a house right on the beach owned by a family who I knew in primary school.

Monday 4th August

A long day of sorting photos and sorting things.

Tuesday 5th August

I had a scare on Sunday when my main photography HD stopped. I think the fan has died so its overheating. It scared me enough to throw £400 at a proper solution. A new 1tb external usb drive for my photography which is backed up to a new Apple Time Capsule. The initial backup is taking hours, well its looking like days. Also I've made the decision to dump the original style I was using for this 365. I found a group of photographers who use it and what hit me was that you couldn't tell their work apart. Its totally download a style and off you go. I don't like that. People say they like the processing on these photos and all I did was push f8 to run the action. That doesn't feel right. So I'm dumping it and going back to learning more rather than coping out.

 

[Slvrbck]

Hi Pete,
Just spent a good long time reading your 365 and I am stunned.
This is an amazing thread so far and I LOVE the landscape for Monday the 4th of August.
Will keep on top of this thread now.

 

[petemc]

Cheers dude

 

[photostar_1]

Hi Pete,
Just spent a good long time reading your 365 and I am stunned.
This is an amazing thread so far

....Me too....I haven't been around much just lately, so not seen this thread before.

I really love all your gig and street work and your B&W processing is something to really aspire to....(I love Diego Garcia's work too;some similarities). I have only ever had post baby depression, (thank God for Prozac) but someone in the past who was very close to me was a manic depressive, so I know from close hand how devastating it can be....the highs are overwhelming and the lows are incredibly and destructively low. The bits in between were great though. That person was also a photographer........


Bit worried about you dietary intake mate......you really should try to get more complex carbs into yourself...they hold the shakes at bay quite well.

Take care and have a hug.
xx

 

[petemc]

The highs, which have been very very few and not truly manic, are great. Its like you're firing on all cylinders. Ideas just appear. Inspiration works for you and everything is great. I remember a few years ago it was like 2am and bam! Just everything clicked. Music was so much better. I had loads of ideas and was really hyper. Of course it was 2am so that was all a complete waste.

The lows, well they hold me back. They prevent me from being who I should be and they scare me.

 

[photostar_1]

Find something you have produced that are really, really fond of.

Put it somewhere you can sit and contemplate it and let it remind you who you are....... a talented bloke who sometimes has self doubts. I bet that every artist thoughout time had those self doubts too; I think you have to have them to be able to be so insightful.

Use that "something" as your comfort blanket. Hold on to it (mentally) when the terrors come.....let it be your anchor. And always, always remember we are here for you......and for anyone else in your position too.
xx

 

[foodpoison]

Sunday's shot is very colourful, a first for this 365!
Looks a beautiful place.

How's Ninja Gaiden? I've never played it, heard it was blisteringly difficult

 

[petemc]

Find something you have produced that are really, really fond of.

Put it somewhere you can sit and contemplate it and let it remind you who you are....... a talented bloke who sometimes has self doubts. I bet that every artist thoughout time had those self doubts too; I think you have to have them to be able to be so insightful.

Use that "something" as your comfort blanket. Hold on to it (mentally) when the terrors come.....let it be your anchor. And always, always remember we are here for you......and for anyone else in your position too.
xx

I do have a few photos of my favourite spots in my room. A large 30x20'' print of Ben Nevis from a great road trip, and a dusk photo of Toronto from another great trip. But I think they've become part of the wall. I forget that they are there.

Sunday's shot is very colourful, a first for this 365!
Looks a beautiful place.

Yer I felt that it was a bad idea to be using a downloaded action. Cut & paste photography isn't for me. Its too easy to do that really. Its better to be inspired and create than to simply download and replicate.

How's Ninja Gaiden? I've never played it, heard it was blisteringly difficult

The first was tough. I'm finding the second is a lot easier at least it was till last night. Random water boss is a complete arse.

 

[foodpoison]

Yer I felt that it was a bad idea to be using a downloaded action. Cut & paste photography isn't for me. Its too easy to do that really. Its better to be inspired and create than to simply download and replicate.

What about inspire and replicate?

Nah buddy I understand! I tend to find my processing style differs wildly between shots. Some I go for realism, and some the opposite

The first was tough. I'm finding the second is a lot easier at least it was till last night. Random water boss is a complete arse.

I'm not into hard games. I like something simple and gentle
GTA4 just about goes to the edge of the pitch. Burnout is more my style of game. All about reactions and going unbelievably fast until your eyes burn a little bit.

 

[petemc]

The thing with NG is that its tough but oh so rewarding. Its one of the coolest action games ever.

 

[foodpoison]

See I tried the demo and I just couldn't get into it. Perhaps its like Mass Effect? Get into it and it's brilliant?

I'll tell you what's frustrating.
Play for 4 hours on Mass Effect, get to a section and get killed, and realise you haven't saved.

Ninja Gaiden has NOTHING on that haha.

 

[rh1944]

I think it simply comes down to this. Is it better to be seen as a good photographer or a good photographer who despite flaws overcomes them all to get those good photos. Are Superheroes better when they're perfect or when they're flawed? At least thats one way of looking at it. People may just see the flaws, so why make them public?

Scott Fitzgerald, Steinbeck, Hemingway and Carver had private lives which were complete disasters. They also had true genius.

 

[Xplosion]

PeteMC..great thread and lovely photo's...with regard to the above quote, every one has a flaw, its human...and its something that has to be dealt with. One subject which I personally dn't understand (i'm being completely honest) is depression, you seem like a young guy, with a very successful pro tog career forming up in addition to all the materialistic objects that come with that and yet you're depressed yet their are people in really run down places of the word with next to nothing and sometimes not even food on thier plate who are happy and content.

I believe we place too much emphasizes on the material aspects of life without taking time for ourselves. The perception I get in your case and alot of members on this forum is that they're very busy, to the extend of having to check email on the go etc, maybe you should try just switching everything off for one weekend and having it to yourself?

Sorry for making it sound like i'm preaching but just trying to bring things into perspective...

 

[petemc]

One subject which I personally dn't understand (i'm being completely honest) is depression, you seem like a young guy, with a very successful pro tog career forming up in addition to all the materialistic objects that come with that and yet you're depressed yet their are people in really run down places of the word with next to nothing and sometimes not even food on thier plate who are happy and content.

I'm not really a hugely materialistic person. Give me my camera, laptop for processing and my phone and its all I really need. Hell, thats all I really have. I know that there are people in far far worse off states than me. I see how people react to Robbie Williams in a similar fashion. Poor little rich successful singer who can have any girl he wants. Booo hoo. Annoyingly depression is something that can simply be a chemical imbalance in your brain. Try as you might to fight it theres nothing you can do to fight chemistry with will power. I have no idea what causes mine, whether it is that or something else. I do know that something as powerful as depression, something that despite all the evils in the world can make you personally feel like live just isn't worth living and drive people to suicide isn't something to take lightly. No amount of people dying in bad places in the world can put things right in your head. Depression isn't sadness, its worse. Its like a migraine isn't a headache its a lot more and takes something strong to fix it.

I believe we place too much emphasizes on the material aspects of life without taking time for ourselves. The perception I get in your case and alot of members on this forum is that they're very busy, to the extend of having to check email on the go etc, maybe you should try just switching everything off for one weekend and having it to yourself?

I've never been someone who can turn off and relax. I've always got to be doing something. The problem with being freelance is that everything is on me. I can't turn off for a few days and pass it off to someone else. When I went to Toronto 2 years ago I spent a bit of time sitting in Starbucks fixing clients websites simply because I had to. Looking forward to Sunday though. A day in Wales with some guys from here. No responsability but to enjoy the day and take some nice photos for me, no-one else.

Sorry for making it sound like i'm preaching but just trying to bring things into perspective...

I get that but as I said, no amount of perspective can alter a chemical reaction. It would be like trying to stop cancer by telling it off "Bad cancer. Bad bad cancer."

 

[rh1944]

When I went to Toronto 2 years ago I spent a bit of time sitting in Starbucks fixing clients websites simply because I had to.

When I went to Dalian (China's most liveable city) last year, I spent my time sitting outside a Starbucks taking candids of the Chinese walking by. My wife's cousin encouraged me to take pictures of beautiful Chinese women (of whom there were many) with the words "Nice pair of shoes".

 

[Xplosion]

I'm not really a hugely materialistic person. Give me my camera, laptop for processing and my phone and its all I really need. Hell, thats all I really have. I know that there are people in far far worse off states than me. I see how people react to Robbie Williams in a similar fashion. Poor little rich successful singer who can have any girl he wants. Booo hoo. Annoyingly depression is something that can simply be a chemical imbalance in your brain. Try as you might to fight it theres nothing you can do to fight chemistry with will power. I have no idea what causes mine, whether it is that or something else. I do know that something as powerful as depression, something that despite all the evils in the world can make you personally feel like live just isn't worth living and drive people to suicide isn't something to take lightly. No amount of people dying in bad places in the world can put things right in your head. Depression isn't sadness, its worse. Its like a migraine isn't a headache its a lot more and takes something strong to fix it.



I've never been someone who can turn off and relax. I've always got to be doing something. The problem with being freelance is that everything is on me. I can't turn off for a few days and pass it off to someone else. When I went to Toronto 2 years ago I spent a bit of time sitting in Starbucks fixing clients websites simply because I had to. Looking forward to Sunday though. A day in Wales with some guys from here. No responsability but to enjoy the day and take some nice photos for me, no-one else.



I get that but as I said, no amount of perspective can alter a chemical reaction. It would be like trying to stop cancer by telling it off "Bad cancer. Bad bad cancer."

Hey mate,

That was a great insight , I think I might have different views because of what i've seen, I've been brought up in Africa for the majority of my life and have lived in the UK for the last 8 and its amazing how much difference thier is in the outlook. Keep up with the thread and might get you to show me around liverpool!! - I'm working there temporarily...

Enjoy wales

 

[rh1944]

Keep up with the thread and might get you to show me around liverpool!! - I'm working there temporarily...

Enjoy wales

There's plenty of people who could show you round Liverpool on this forum. My guess is that some of them know more about the city than petemc.

 

[Marcel]

Russ. Stop trolling.

 

[petemc]

There's plenty of people who could show you round Liverpool on this forum. My guess is that some of them know more about the city than petemc.

Great post! You've made my ignore list. Have a banana.

 

[neo2810]

Great post! You've made my ignore list. Have a banana.

Bwhaha, great cutdown... Very entertaining 365 mate...

 

[antc]

No updates for a while Pete, whats happening. Been enjoying this thread

 

[petemc]

I've got the pics I think just it all got on top of me. Missed a few days, then a week and then nearly a month. I would like to try and pick it up again simply to do it for myself, and not just because it was the "fashionable" thing at the time.

 

[antc]

Have you given up on this now Pete?

 

[petemc]

Yer. I wish I could have kept going. I wish I felt different about a lot of things. But I'm either taking photos, which I show elsewhere because I have my blog about Liverpool and I do commercial shoots or I'm processing them. So theres just nothing to document. The idea wasn't to be like Jimmy's which is a photo a day of anything that looks good, or Marcel's which is a self portrait a day. It was to document my life so that I would have something very different to photograph, something more personal. It was inspired by Annie Leibovitz's family work. Her dying father for example. Such emotion and so intensely personal. I don't feel comfortable putting anything of my family online. I respect their privacy too much. So you take that out the equation and whats left is just me. I'm either taking or processing photos. Another photo out my bedroom window. Another photo of my desk. Another photo of absolutely nothing of any importance but something just to have a photo for that day. I could do something on depression, but no I couldn't because whats the point I don't think I could be honest with people and at the same time I wouldn't want to lie. So theres just nothing to photograph.

 

[petemc]

Hmmm... nothings changed and yet I do feel that doing this would help. Marcel put himself out there, way way out there and I'm sure he'd agree that he's a better person for it. Gary also did the same and he said it was liberating. 2009 is meant to be a year where I stop running and fix some things. But honestly there's not a lot to photograph

 

[Betty]

Try again Pete. All Ive shot so far is crap around the house, but amazingly, it looks quite interesting

 

[petemc]

Ideally I don't want to photograph random objects. I want to document my life. Not easy to do so when you hate the way you look and feel like you have no real life to document Hence my 3 failures in doing a 365. Tried 2 years ago to do one before it became all the rage. Failed. Tried again, failed. Both self portraits. Picked it up again with less emphasis on self portraits and didn't do too badly. I guess I'd rather people saw my "great shots!!!" than me.

 

[Jimmy_Lemon]

dooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt