Whats up with the silver stuff on the side of her face? Its a nice naturally lit image but whatever is red to her left is very distracting, though I do understand you dont have any control over what is in the background, it may have been worth asking her to move slightly or for you to have moved to a position where the background was not so cluttered. Love the eyes too.
Thanks for the suggestion Kodiak, I agree that the darker skin tones would benefit from lightning a little. Your version looks a little over-sharpened to me though, so I've had another go and tried to make the changes slightly more subtle:•
She obviously knew you were there!
May I suggest to pull up the darker skin
tones on her face and arm — that are in
the shade— through an adjustment layer?