You obviously have a slightly high opinion of yoruself Mark. I bet 99% of the people in the sports industry have never actually heard of you.
You may have burnt one or two bridges but if you work at it I'm sure they could be repaired and there are always other avenues to go down.
You may not think you are being over dramatic but you are and one day you'll realise that.
I have to agree here...
Mark, the entire industry doesn't know who I am and I work for one of the big guys...they won't know who you are outside of Preston/Wigan/Blackpool. OK fine, you've burned a bridge for now...I did that too (read the story) oh well, it's no great loss.
You can pick yourself up and move on. Produce better images, it takes time and practice. When you eventually get up to a level where you are consistently producing images of very good standard, then go back to whichever agency you approached before. I bet you £10 that they don't even remember your name.
Trust me...I know it sounds stupid to say that, but seriously...we've all had visions of giving up, in our darkest days (usually a sunday after you got an amazing shot and STILL none of the papers picked it), but the reason most people do this is for precisely the reasons you want to give it up for...
I do this job for:
1. Seeing my shots in print, I love being sat in Starbucks and seeing someone looking at a paper with my photo and thinking "you don't know...but I took that".
2. Getting the shot in the first place. It's bloody tough, all the elements of a photo and of the sport in question have to slot into place for you at the precise moment you press the shutter. There IS NO BIGGER RUSH than realising that the light, the weather, the sport, the player, the exposure, the focus, the lens, the spot you sat in, the goal, the time, the decision of the player to run towards you and about 100 other things ALL HAPPENED JUST RIGHT. I mean bloody hell, it's the equivilant of realising you're not the only planet that's inhabited in the universe...we're talking a sodding epiphany here.
3. The thrill of competition. You get that shot, you get it out into the wide world so fast it would make your head spin if you sat back and thought about it. Seriously, Chris Kamara is still fumbling over his words about the goal on Sky Sports News when you've got your shots to the picture desk and it's being punted out to the newspapers. And yet, there's another 20 blokes all sat around you who are trying to get the shot out first. Adrenaline is a brilliant thrill.
4. Knowing when you walk into a press room after a big shot in the papers that everyone is thinking "ah, that's James he got that massive back-page shot last weekend". Sod the fact that it's massively egotistical and a little bit distateful...I don't care. I got the photo and no-one else did. They'll probably get it next week. I walk in and I am "THE GOD" (NB. this is mainly in your head - you're never
really the god)
5. Ego - you'd better believe it. British sports togs are THE BEST in the world. By proxy that makes me THE BEST IN THE WORLD and I will damn well make sure I know it, you know it, and everyone on Facebook/Twitter/TP knows it. You doubt that for a second and while you're wondering if you're the best in the world, that bloke has just scored a screamer and is running towards you celebrating with a brilliant photograph and you've just missed it. OK, so this clashes horribly with my personality away from sports togging but it allows me to console myself and horrible self-doubts (which I guarantee you, EVERYONE who has commented in this thread has every so often) and keep me from a) going mad and b) selling all my kit and getting an office job.
If you don't want to handle one knock-back from ONE agency (and I'm guessing I know which one) with ONE tog then you need to realise that this will happen ALL THE TIME. Perseverence is what is required, that and a very thick skin. I dread to think what some of your facebook friends say about me (the "names" I mean here)...in fact, I know what some of them say about me...but you know what I couldn't give a French Connection UK. I'm where I am on merit and so are you. If you weren't supposed to be there - then by christ you wouldn't be. Develop a very thick skin very fast or you will hate this job rather than love and extol the brilliantly exciting 5 things I've listed above. My heart is racing just THINKING about the 5 points I made above. This is as close to a RELIGION that I will get...I am positively Zealous about it. You reach that moment and you HAVE ARRIVED my friend.
Right....I'm all riled up now...I'm going for a walk, and when I get back you'd better bloody well be carrying on with Sports Photography and asking about kit and photos.