NWIOT.... Not Worth It's Own Thread

Keith W said:
Took our share? LOL

This is Scotland laddie! D'ye no ken?
Click to expand...
:LOL:

It rain for about 10 days solid not so long ago, my pond was so full I saw at least 3 fish swimming over the back ( 6 feet) fence :p
 
Keith W said:
Days? Days??

We do it in months up here
Click to expand...
See how good we are to you lot up there?
Letting you have the majority?,after all,
you have all those Lochs that need filling (y)
 
The repartee and razor sharp wit of today's youth.

2 early teens, came cycling towards me, totally on the wrong side of the (local) road, swerving back and forth and laughing as they did so.
I had no option but to run them over but to slow to a stop, leaning out the widow of the van, as they drew level, I asked,
where are the other 5?
WTF are you on about they said.

Well I said, here we have Dopey and twatty, I just wondered where the other Dwarves were.

Sharp as a razor, without missing a beat the bigger one of the two said ...
f*** off

:D
 
Cobra said:
The repartee and razor sharp wit of today's youth.

2 early teens, came cycling towards me, totally on the wrong side of the (local) road, swerving back and forth and laughing as they did so.
I had no option but to run them over but to slow to a stop, leaning out the widow of the van, as they drew level, I asked,
where are the other 5?
WTF are you on about they said.

Well I said, here we have Dopey and twatty, I just wondered where the other Dwarves were.

Sharp as a razor, without missing a beat the bigger one of the two said ...
f*** off

:D
Click to expand...

Who was the lucky widow of the van? ;)
 
People towing trailers, are they totally oblivious to the rules?
I saw 2, on separate occasions, 1 van, 1 4x4 towing trailers, both broke 2 laws, I guess the coppers were busy hunting down the mobile phone users from their new
hunt and seek vehicle ;)
 
that does depend on your understanding of 'light'

That one earlier was of the variety that my elder daughter would describe as ' when caught by it unexpectedly with no rain jacket , it was of the needing to change , having wrung them out , my underwear on having got back to the house. '
 
The smaller sized slices of a 400g loaf are light enough to achieve escape velocity when exiting the toaster.
At least they weren't buttered.
 
Studio newscaster reporting on Di's death 20 years on, before going to the outside broadcaster, she says
"Warning this report contains flash photography"

Ooops :D
 
Had all four seasons in a day here.
Damn near had to deploy the rudder on HMS Mondeo. :LOL:
 
OK own up, who else has stood by their front door pressing the car remote and wondering why the front door didn't unlock ?

:rolleyes:
 
If I'm that pished, I don't have the car keys on me!
 
Cobra said:
OK own up, who else has stood by their front door pressing the car remote and wondering why the front door didn't unlock ?

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Twatt :p
 
Cobra said:
OK own up, who else has stood by their front door pressing the car remote and wondering why the front door didn't unlock ?
Click to expand...
If that was a thing, would all the house lights flash when you lock the door?
 
Cobra said:
OK own up, who else has stood by their front door pressing the car remote and wondering why the front door didn't unlock ?

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Not me, the only time the remote comes out of my pocket is when changing jeans.(y)
 
Nod said:
If I'm that pished, I don't have the car keys on me!
Click to expand...
I wouldn't have minded if I had been! but no stone cold sober...

Gremlin said:
Twatt :p
Click to expand...
That's what I said :rolleyes:

Tori_T said:
If that was a thing, would all the house lights flash when you lock the door?
Click to expand...
I thought they had :D

nilagin said:
Not me, the only time the remote comes out of my pocket is when changing jeans.(y)
Click to expand...
Those F(l)ord things are no good to me, I never wear jeans..
 
Cobra said:
OK own up, who else has stood by their front door pressing the car remote and wondering why the front door didn't unlock ?

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Just you, weirdo. ;)
 
Cobra said:
Yep that's just about all those proximity remote's are good for (y)
Click to expand...
They are brilliant. No fumbling around for keys, just pull on door handle and it unlocks. Touch the sensor on the handle and it locks again. Push button start too. Keys and push button remotes are outdated. ;)
 
nilagin said:
No fumbling around for keys, just pull on door handle and it unlocks....Push button start too...
Click to expand...
The problem that I have with that, you are standing near your car, say chatting to someone, ( possibly a diversion tactic) and some smart arse jumps in it, and starts it and drives off..
Now, will the car stop once out of range? ( serious question)
 
Cobra said:
The problem that I have with that, you are standing near your car, say chatting to someone, ( possibly a diversion tactic) and some smart arse jumps in it, and starts it and drives off..
Now, will the car stop once out of range? ( serious question)
Click to expand...
Fairly sure the remote has to be inside the car to be able to start it. The car certainly knows if I have got out whilst the engine is running and that's not just opening the door neither. I am aware of the recent thefts where thieves have extended the range whilst the remote is in someone's house, but even before I have unlocked my car other people have been unable to get in even though I am standing right next to the car.

I always put a hefty security lock through the steering wheel anyway so any opportunist thieves won't get anywhere.
 
Last edited:
nilagin said:
but even before I have unlocked my car other people have been unable to get in even though I am standing right next to the car.
Click to expand...
Strange that, my boss has this "technology" on his Discovery, (the proper one) he was in close proximity and I opened the door,
So no DNA or fingerprint recognition there ;)

nilagin said:
I always put a hefty security lock through the steering wheel
Click to expand...
Ah yes I remember the days when a "crooklock" was mandatory on Fords.
Seems like a retro step to me :p
 
Cobra said:
Ah yes I remember the days when a "crooklock" was mandatory on Fords.
Seems like a retro step to me :p
Click to expand...
Pretty much the only way to stop or slow down thieves of any make of car now. Each time manufacturers improve the security of their cars, the thieves manage to get technology to by pass it. Short of an angle grinder, a steering lock or DISKLOK is the only deterrant. I read of a bloke this morning with a new Focus RS, he went to a music festival the other weekend, and put his disklok on the steering wheel. When he returned to the 2 days later , the drivers door was open and thieves had nicked his front seats. The disklok was still intact on the steering wheel.
 
nilagin said:
When he returned to the 2 days later , the drivers door was open and thieves had nicked his front seats. The disklok was still intact on the steering wheel.
Click to expand...

A few years ago, I went to a block of flats with private parking next to the road, one of the owners had a red Probe (someone at Ford had a sense
humour :D) The Car had all for corners on blocks of wood.
Had a parcel for the owner, so when she answered the door, mentioned how unfortunate it was to have problems with all the wheels,
oops seems they had been stolen sometime over the weekend
 
nilagin said:
the drivers door was open and thieves had nicked his front seats.
Click to expand...
FFS!

I had a 2.8is Capri nicked some years ago, They caught the not so bright pair, they had put the wheels on MKIII cortina, along with fitting the "baby seats"
And were in the process of fitting the half leather reccaro's.
The rest of the car was "Found" dumped in the local woods with the engine half out ...
 
Not quite up to @Cobra 's dizzy heights but:-

My toaster has started to overdo the toast and set off the smoke detector, that's now been replaced
so decided to pop into town and get a new toaster
The carpark is one of those ticketless smart ones.
Go back type my reg no. into the machine, and it can't find the car :thinking:
I know I parked it there, so try again, still no luck, just about to hit the help button
when I realise, I've been putting my van number in :banghead:
 
Tori_T said:
I noticed last week Tesco are selling smoke detectors certified as "Toast Proof"
Click to expand...
Are they George Foreman grill proof too? We could do with some at work. My workmate was cooking some chicken breasts for lunch, the small amount of smoke set off the smoke detectors in our console room, the PC's shutdown automatically and he caused an evacuation of the entire site. Needless to say management weren't happy and confiscated his grill,:)
 
nilagin said:
Needless to say management weren't happy and confiscated his grill,
Click to expand...
I bet they wouldn't have had that actually been George Foreman :D
 
George Foreman's are well known for doing that.
One solution is :cautious: :shifty: *cling film on smoke detector* :angelic:

Just remember to take it off after lunch...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top