The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[Cobra]

 

[Keith W]

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Mountkeen]

 

[DorsetDude]

wtf?

 

[Mountkeen]

Bride of Frankenstein: "You never help at mealtimes..."

Frankenstein: "I did the mash................."

 

[Cobra]

wtf?

Its OK Keith its sorted

 

[DorsetDude]

Its OK Keith its sorted

I thought he'd finally lost the plot. Anyway back to the jokes.

I remember as a child I was made to walk the plank. We couldnt afford a dog.

 

[Llamaman]

I remember as a child I was made to walk the plank. We couldnt afford a dog.

Reminds me of my former job as a private detective.

I was working on a case - I couldn't afford a desk.

 

[andyred]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Skyline]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Big Andy]

Is that the EASTER bunny.

 

[Brendan Mulachy]

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.

 

[Mountkeen]

 

[Steep]

https://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2017/10/31/department-justice-confirms-indicted-trump-will-tried-adult/

 

[Cobra]

 

[camerassassin]

Cobra - that is BRILLIANT

 

[Cobra]

 

[KMPhoto]

View attachment 113915

 

[gm43uk]

A patient was looking forward to the prospect of seeing again for the first time since he was 15. The doctor went through his notes and told him "I have to tell you, the surgery has risks. You will certainly regain the sight in your eyes, but there is a very strong chance it will affect your ability to achieve an erection."

The patient said, "Why’s that?"

The doctor replied, "Well, your wife’s ****ing ugly.”

 

[Steep]

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Earley Man]

View attachment 114044

Nothing new there then.

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Cobra]

View attachment 114062

That was terrible

 

[camerassassin]

@Cobra You got that wrong

 

[Cobra]

@Cobra You got that wrong

View attachment 114077

 

[KMPhoto]

That was terrible

Because of the unnecessary definite article? [emoji50]

 

[KMPhoto]

 

[KMPhoto]

 

[KMPhoto]

 

[cosmicma]

 

[gm43uk]

My grandad tried to warn everyone about The Titanic.
He shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the cinema.

 

[camerassassin]

 

[DorsetDude]

I'd say I use maybe one elastic band a month? But even that's stretching it

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Cobra]