The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

The head teacher calls a pupil into the office after going through the recent mathematics exam test papers. "You've been copying your friend's answers in the test, haven't you?" "No, I have not" replied the pupil.

"Very well," said the teacher, placing the two test papers in front of the pupil "Turn to question 26 of your friend's test paper... to which he gave the answer 'I don't know'".

"Now turn to question 26 on your test paper, to which you gave the answer 'Neither do I'.
 
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I believe someone interviewing the playwright Alan Bennet years ago asked him what he'd choose for his last meal... to which he replied "If I knew it was going to be my last meal I probably wouldn't be very hungry really"!
 
The wife says she's leaving me for another man because Im obsessed with football!
I said "Is it on loan or a transfer?"
 
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.
His friend said, "Your chances will be much better if you tell her you’re 90.”
 
Roman Museum -
Visitor: They weren't all straight, were they?
Me: Probably not. Imagine 8 soldiers living in such a small space for so long ....
Visitor: No. The roads. Roman roads weren't all straight.
 
The internet is going to have a fun weekend :D

wongaloan.jpg
 
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