The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[mex]

 

[scottishguy]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Cobra]

What is it with all these bloody fireworks already? FFS! its still October !
Watching TV last night, and there was a hell of a bang out side, it scared the crap out of the cat!

He jumped off the sofa straight into the Christmas tree and knocked it flying

 

[Nod]

scared the crap out of the cat!

Thought you were going to say that it was hell getting it out of the duvet!

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Farmerjim]

 

[Farmerjim]

 

[Farmerjim]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[ancient_mariner]

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

Not at all - the straight ones lull you into a false sense of security.

 

[Cartus]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[mikew]

 

[scottishguy]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[mikew]

 

[Steep]

Police Scotland just released CCTV images of men wanted for football violence