The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )


When my first wife worked in an accounts office she used to have a bar of chocolate on her desk and ate one square about every half hour. One of the accountants used to take at least one square whenever she was away from her desk.

She cured him of the habit by buying a large bar of Ex-Lax and carefully wrapping that in the normal chocolate wrapper. :LOL:
 
One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.” Which one of the three women got the job? The one with the biggest tits!
 
Although a fair number of the younger generation might be wondering WTF you're on about!
 
Although a fair number of the younger generation might be wondering WTF you're on about!

Could say the same thing about a fair number of the younger generation too:exit:
 
Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." Doris asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Fascinated, Doris says, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it sure worked for your ass!"
 
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