The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Tech Support

Customer : I can't get on the Internet.

Tech Support : Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?

Customer : Yes, I'm sure. I saw my co-worker do it.

Tech Support : Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer : Five dots.
 
jabba.jpg
 
Better delete that one from my jokes/memes folder!
 
Did the brother write the Chris Rob stories?
 
Bloke in front "What's your name?"
Bloke behind "Don't tell him, Pike..."
 
While taking the interview, the employer asked the candidate:

Employer: So, how long did you work during your'e last job?

Candidate: 30 years

Employer: oh, you look young how old are you

Candidate: 20 years old

The employer was surprised and asked the candidate how she worked 30 years and has only been living for 20 years??

Candidate: Overtime!
 
I had a blazing row with the missus and it ended up with her packing my bags and telling me to get out.

As I went through the door she said: “I hope you have a miserable life and a long, slow, painful death.”

I turned and said, “Oh, so now you want me to stay?”
 
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
 
Well, I endured my Astrazeneca (none of that German rubbish for me) vaccination today like a 'brave soldier' I was informed one of the side effects was rapid hair growth (who would have guessed?) they certainly got that right, I think it looks good on me. . . yes ? ;)

Before:

i-Z6FsnsJ-L.jpg


After: (thanks to Tom Selleck for the loan)

i-NKVp9qb.jpg
 
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