The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

I think this may have been posted before but even so it’s worth posting again to show everything is going to plan:

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I’ve only had it with the usual oatmeal, blood, spices etc but the extra ingredient makes it moister no doubt :)
 
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um, no." The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
 
You thought Top Gun: Maverick was good? Try this version: Top Gun: Maverick (the cheap version)

(passed on from the newsletter of the British Microlight Aviation Association, for whom it has extra appeal)
 
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