The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

That's why Castlemaine is called XXXX - the Australians can't spell PI55.
 
Talking of Watneys Red Barrell, for the older ones amongst us,
Q. What's the difference between Watney's red barrel and making love in a boat.
A. Nothing, they are both F****** close to water.
 
Was that...? Nah can't be. Was it? A joke from Nod in the jokes thread? :thinking: Consider my flabber gasted.


It wasn't a joke, just an observation. :p
 
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.
Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way,
what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
 
12922_random%20photo%20car%20question.jpg
 
But they can work below the waterline.
(Until the pressure collapses the galleries.)
 
Edible engineering?
Got my vote. (y)


Not too sure about the bread/bread interface being PB&J though. Would prefer C&P or, even better, B+B+B+B+B+B+B etc..
 


Reminds me of a practical joke my grandfather played on his grandmother. First, a sprinkling of Potassium Permanganate on the bottom of the gezzunder, followed by just enough Epsom salts to cover the Permanganate. Wait for screams when gezzunder gets used... Probably thought she had porphyria.
 
We can splel here...
 
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