The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Cockney said:
Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
Click to expand...

I once got the other old chestnut "tell us about your strengths and weaknesses" - it was at a job i'd already decided wasn't for me (mis-represented by the agencies...) so I waffled on for a couple of minutes about strengths then shut up... HR person chimed up with "Yes, but what about your weaknesses" - "Well, I'm a bugger for Jaffa Cakes, can'r resist 'em"...

yeah, that's another one I didn't get... left the office laughing and shaking my head...
 
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Some people have an elf on a shelf. We have a frog as a bog.

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A hippie in a bus sees a very beautiful lady and he goes to the lady and asks " can I do my way with you? " and the lady replies by saying "sorry i cant so that i am a nun my body and soul belongs to the lord" the hippie then walks away and exits the bus cause they have arrived and his bus stop but gets stopped by the bus driver " you know that nun always goes to the cemetery and prays so you should go there dressed up like jesus and ask her to do your way with her" says the bus driver the hippie says okay and waits till midnight and goes to the cemetery and sees the nun praying then he put his jesus outfit and asks the nun to do her way with her and he shall forgiver her sins and she says yes but do it from behind so i will not lose my virginity and they start to make love and when they were done the hippie rips his outfit of and says surprise its me the hippie! and then the nun rips her dress of and screams surprise its me the bus~driver!
 
Your shot and the video above are from an Australian police show but apparently motorcycle chariot racing was quite popular in the '20s and '30s. Then testicle size shrank and self preservation set in!
 
A guy drops a sword from the sky. When he gets off he sees a girl crying. He says "What's wrong?" The girl says, "Well, a sword fell from the sky and killed my cat. Another guy drops a gun from the sky and sees a boy crying. He asks "What's wrong?" He says "A gun fell from the sky and shot my dog." Another guy drops a bomb from the sky and sees a little boy laughing. He asks, "What's so funny?" He says "My mom farted so hard the house blew up!!"
 
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