The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

It was 12 years ago today that my mate James came running out of the room shouting “It’s a boy, it’s a boy!”, with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand after that.
 
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...yse-on-passing-on-essential-knowledge-cartoon
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First to recite his poem was the university graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination – Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.
The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin’ went
Met three whores in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one and timbuktu.

The aboriginal won.
 
A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"
 
They missed a chance - should have said he was beating them off!
 
Better than a Betamax!
 
And it's only Tuesday!!!
 
It's only a joke :)
I find the jokes on the artist when the other cylinder is red (as here), which is the colour of hydrogen the only substance less dense than helium...

Of course neither could provide the effect shown, but as you say it's only a joke.
 
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