The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

I've been learning German for 20 years. It's zwanzig Jahre.


I know a little German.
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We call him Klein Klaus.
 
Just went outside rang the doorbell ,went back in and asked myself who’s there
 
This lockdown is making my wife snappy and nasty, she said what do you want for your tea, I said no idea what do you want, she said anything ime easy,well at that point it was enough, i said dont get argumentative with me you bloody lazy slag,sitting on your arse asking me stupid questions.
 
The DPD ones will be honoured in a one hour time slot which will be communicated to you by SMS as soon as your package(s) are loaded onto the van.
 
Ok removed it as it offends you, bet if you removed all the repeats in this thread it would be half the length :p
It's not quite that bad - I'd guess only about 10% from repeats even including when they're not exact duplicates. A few of those I recognize as repeats are ones I've previously seen from other forums .
 
I suppose I'm quite lucky in that I only see them on here rather than the 20 times Farcebook and Twatter users see them (before reposting them here...)
 
full
 
There was a terrible scene on Bognor's seafront today - a woman, who was carrying a baby in her arms, and a man started having the most violent argument. The man slapped the woman very hard but she fought back bravely. The baby was thrown into the air but as the man tried to grab it a policeman rushed in and started hitting the man with one of those old fashioned truncheons - Then a crocodile stole all the sausages ....
 
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