The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Mag1cp2x said:
There was a terrible scene on Bognor's seafront today - a woman, who was carrying a baby in her arms, and a man started having the most violent argument. The man slapped the woman very hard but she fought back bravely. The baby was thrown into the air but as the man tried to grab it a policeman rushed in and started hitting the man with one of those old fashioned truncheons - Then a crocodile stole all the sausages ....
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Oh no, there wasn't

Oh yes there was.


(carry on infinitum)
 
I divorced my wife when I discovered she spent her time going round all the bars in town every night.
Although to be fair, she was looking for me.
 
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Tori_T said:
So the queue for the gents will now be as long as the one for the ladies?
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Nope we don't hang around in there, empty bladder and depart
(not forgetting to wash hands of course :D )
 
Marc said:
Talking of which, I take it your court case has been put back? :D
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:LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

But as a pestie, you'd be surprised at some places I've "been" ;)
 
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Must be almost 40 years since "someone" put clingfilm over the bowls in the ladies' at college. As an added refinement, the bulbs were removed so the film was invisible. Calculating back, it must be 37 years and a day!
 
I have done some good ones over the years, one was drilled a hole in the bottom of someone tea mug then stuck an Elastoplast on it sticking out on the side away from him, when he picked it up i said what's that on your mug, naturally he pulled it off.
 
Nod said:
Must be almost 40 years since "someone" put clingfilm over the bowls in the ladies' at college. As an added refinement, the bulbs were removed so the film was invisible. Calculating back, it must be 37 years and a day!
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reminds me of my taxi days ,we had one particularly obnoxious driver who on his dinner break every night got the most foul smelling mix of food from the takeaway that he could think of , and then proceeded to drink his coffee with loud slurping noises , followed every time by a foul smelling loud fart that cleared the office ... but thanks to a desk lady who had enough of it she finally put a stop to it ... when she made his coffee it accidentally got 32 ex-lax tablets added , after he finished his food and coffee she then sent him on a non existent spoof run about 15 miles away . as he was coming back you could here him on the radio asking if the toilet was in use or not , the toilet with the light bulb removed btw .. the rest as they say is history .. :exit::exit::exit:
 
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