and the site receives a small commission
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
- Messages
- 7,673
- Name
- Nigel
- Edit My Images
- Yes
A gorgeous nymphomaniac boarded a plane...
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ..."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ..."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
- Messages
- 2,921
- Name
- Chris
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Tigger.ufo
Lady Penelope
- Messages
- 5,922
- Name
- Heather
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 17,349
- Name
- Bob
- Edit My Images
- Yes
That would work better....
- Messages
- 1,834
- Name
- dave
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 4,717
- Name
- Ian
- Edit My Images
- Yes
During the lockdown, to cope with the extra demands on the internet, Netflix and Amazon Prime reduced the resolution of streaming TV. Now I don't know how much longer I can stand it watching only in 1080p. I especially miss Family Guy in 4K. Which is like you are actually there! You can see every hair on Stewie's fat head!
- Messages
- 4,717
- Name
- Ian
- Edit My Images
- Yes
I've been watching some cop shows including Bosch, and heard more expressions that could get youths into trouble:
The police arrested more youths:
They charged one with sniffing what looked like glue. But they couldn't made it stick.
They wanted to charge the one drinking battery acid, but they didn't have any leads.
They arrested one for being disguised as a handbag. He got done for being an accessory.
One got caught hacking Amazon servers. They threw the Kindl at him. First he held out inside his laptop. The police had to wait for backup.
- Messages
- 1,849
- Edit My Images
- Yes
My wife asked me to brighten up the place while she was out so I've made a pier and bought a couple of donkeys.
