The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

My wife said that I did'nt know her anymore, I said that I sure did, she was imagining things.
"Whats my favourite flower?" she asked.

I think that Homepride might have been a poor choice....
 
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.
When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."
 
gm43uk said:
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.
When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."
Click to expand...
True story: my dentist fitted a bridge to replace one of my front teeth when I was in my mid 50s. I asked him how long I could expect it to last. He relied that it would last the rest of my life and he had known them to last a good ten years.
 
Tigger.ufo said:
Can also be used for supermoons, eclipses, satellite/ISS sightings or indeed any other nocturnal astrological happenings! :LOL:
Click to expand...
Sadly so true. About the only way to avoid this is to only hear of the happenings after they've finished.
 
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