The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Cockney said:
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Reminds me of a farmer I knew years ago; the local council granted planning permission to build a close of houses next to his farm, despite him writing to the planning department to explain that he ran a chicken farm and kept sheep too, and believed that he would be bound to get complaints from the residents if the houses were built owing to their proximity to an active farm.

Once built, letters of complaint regarding smells and noise started to come in from the residents of the new houses. ISTR a rather amusing complaint about lambs bleating early in the morning and waking one of the new residents up actually made the local papers at one stage... this coincided with the release of a popular film starring Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. You guessed it, the headline read 'Silence of the Lambs'!

My favourite incident he told me of was when one of the residents flagged him down by waving furiously over the fence from their back garden when he was working in the adjoining field on his tractor. He drove over to see what all the arm waving and shouting was about, leaned out of the cab and was met with the accusation "Your moles have been digging in my garden!". To which he peered studiously for a moment into the chap's garden, then shook his head and replied "No... that's not our moles; all our moles have got collars on." and promptly drove off!
 
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ME: “If dogs wore lipstick, would they put it on the entire black bit around their mouth or just a little bit under their nose?”
INTERVEWIER: No, I meant did you have any questions about the job?
 
Mr Badger said:
Reminds me of a farmer I knew years ago; the local council granted planning permission to build a close of houses next to his farm, despite him writing to the planning department to explain that he ran a chicken farm and kept sheep too, and believed that he would be bound to get complaints from the residents if the houses were built owing to their proximity to an active farm.
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As it was posted on reddit, I don’t know if it was a true story or not but I read a similar story. Farmer gets boxed in on three sides by new development. Council refuses to pay a fair price for land, offering much less than the land was worth. Farmer buys pigs. The smells and noises that emanated prompted a flurry of complaints from the neighbours to the council who then bought out the farmer.
 
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