and the site receives a small commission
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
badlywornroy
I am not macho
- Messages
- 2,644
- Name
- Roy
- Edit My Images
- No
I live in rural North Yorkshire and it is 'horsey' country. We have to be patient when on the roads due to horse riders.
It took me fully 25 mins to pass this horse.
It took me fully 25 mins to pass this horse.
badlywornroy
I am not macho
- Messages
- 2,644
- Name
- Roy
- Edit My Images
- No
There is an upside to all this self isolation. With less travel, less pollution and less human activity, nature is recovering and the World is healing.
As I look out of my window, this is Toxteth this morning.
As I look out of my window, this is Toxteth this morning.
OP
- Messages
- 115,214
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
Three men, for awful crimes, are sentenced to 25 years in solitary confinement. They are supplied with only food and drink.
Before they go in, they get to choose one thing, in any amount, to take in with them for the 25 year duration.
The first prisoner chooses an endless supply of the finest wine. “Might as well pass the time drunk.” He said.
The second prisoner asked to be locked with his wife. “Might as well have her lovely company.” said he, and the loving wife agreed.
The third prisoner asked for an endless supply of cigarettes. “It’s the only thing that will calm me down all these years.”
They are locked inside, each with his wish.
25 years pass…
It is a day of celebration, and all gather to see what was the fate of the three imprisoned men.
They open the first prisoner’s door, and immediately hundreds of wine bottles come crashing out. He himself in a corner, wasted and hardly alive.
Then they open the second prisoner’s door, and a whole family steps out – babies, children and some teenagers, blinking in the new light of the world outside their cell.
Then they open the third prisoner’s door, and nothing comes out but unopened packs of cigarettes. The prisoner crawls slowly through the door, holding a single, crushed cigarette in his shaking hand.
.
.
.
.
.
“Does anyone,” he asks with a broken voice, “have a light?”
Before they go in, they get to choose one thing, in any amount, to take in with them for the 25 year duration.
The first prisoner chooses an endless supply of the finest wine. “Might as well pass the time drunk.” He said.
The second prisoner asked to be locked with his wife. “Might as well have her lovely company.” said he, and the loving wife agreed.
The third prisoner asked for an endless supply of cigarettes. “It’s the only thing that will calm me down all these years.”
They are locked inside, each with his wish.
25 years pass…
It is a day of celebration, and all gather to see what was the fate of the three imprisoned men.
They open the first prisoner’s door, and immediately hundreds of wine bottles come crashing out. He himself in a corner, wasted and hardly alive.
Then they open the second prisoner’s door, and a whole family steps out – babies, children and some teenagers, blinking in the new light of the world outside their cell.
Then they open the third prisoner’s door, and nothing comes out but unopened packs of cigarettes. The prisoner crawls slowly through the door, holding a single, crushed cigarette in his shaking hand.
.
.
.
.
.
“Does anyone,” he asks with a broken voice, “have a light?”
- Messages
- 23,527
- Name
- Toni
- Edit My Images
- No
