Tigger.ufo
Lady Penelope
- Messages
- 5,924
- Name
- Heather
- Edit My Images
- Yes
and please use their services
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
Nod
Tootles
- Messages
- 45,605
- Name
- Nod (UK)
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 4,345
- Name
- Martin
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Two doctors are overheard in a hospital corridor:
"It's whooomp", says the first one.
"No, no, it's more like whuumph", says the second.
Matron is walking past and hears them.
"It's neither of those, it's pronounced womb."
The doctors look at her and one says, rather sarcastically, "Matron, I doubt you've even seen a warthog, let alone heard one fart underwater!"
"It's whooomp", says the first one.
"No, no, it's more like whuumph", says the second.
Matron is walking past and hears them.
"It's neither of those, it's pronounced womb."
The doctors look at her and one says, rather sarcastically, "Matron, I doubt you've even seen a warthog, let alone heard one fart underwater!"
badlywornroy
I am not macho
- Messages
- 2,644
- Name
- Roy
- Edit My Images
- No
Rare footage of a vegan airliner refuelling.
Lucky it landed in a quornfield ?
Lucky it landed in a quornfield ?
- Messages
- 29,980
- Name
- George.
- Edit My Images
- No
Two young men sneak on to a blind man's property in order to steal something of value. The blind man hears them and goes to the door with his shot gun. The two young men, seeing the blind man, stand motionless. The blind man calls out, "Marco!". Silence. He tries once more, "Marco!" More silence. One more time, "Marco!" One of the young men, tired of the game, yells out, "We aren't going to fall for that..." *BANG!
- Messages
- 4,345
- Name
- Martin
- Edit My Images
- Yes
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims.
- Messages
- 11,279
- Name
- Jak
- Edit My Images
- No
I wonder if I can get a pack of these for my wife??
modernfarmer.com
Scientists Discover a Way To Make Cows Fatter and Less Flatulent
Stop burping, cows. Please.
modernfarmer.com
Gremlin
Houdini
- Messages
- 17,742
- Name
- Ingrid
- Edit My Images
- No
Jack walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.
OP
- Messages
- 115,214
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
A Mammoth one even
