The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.
 
A Scottish Regimental Sergeant Major, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom covered with a number of patches.

"How much to repair it?' he asks the chemist. The chemist holds it up, eyes it critically then replies "80p".
"How much for a new one?" asks the RSM, and the chemist replies "£1.20".
So, he painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and wraps that equally diligently in the cotton bandana. He then replaces the package in his sporran, stamps to attention and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout. The RSM then marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face. "The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."
 
cded88619ac1e6ca151248329aab78fce23dd7ee.jpeg
 
The hillbillies are alive with the sound of music...


69538df0d3e90ef760d0f4b6c2418d268da8f110.jpeg
 
fd801913e40d914dcb17762f6e93df6d8d26b6c3.jpeg
 
The Greeks never got the hang of loading the dishwasher.

i-hMxV5xQ.jpg
 
My kind of washing up!!!
 
Nah - I don't supervise the washing up fairy! (And yes, Mrs Nod does know I have one!!!)
 
4a74b44f04e31008d7bf82e67d03f9fb0ff4d1eb.png
 
If I lean a bit close to my bedroom window I can just see my neighbours their garden. If my lip reading is correct it seems they talking about some creepy bloke who lives near them.

Dave
 
7e803c07904aebb212d8d411b73ea3df6d825a74_2_516x750.jpeg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top